Life After The Adoption Trip

Grant and Grace

Daddy's Boy

The BOYS!

JOY!

JOY! JOY!

Grant is a delight! He is full of joy and laughter. Before we went to China I had a very vivid dream of him and he was so happy. I had prayed that despite his life in the orphanage, he would have true joy - God is so good!

Since our arrival home he has made a lot of progress. The first week I did not know if I was going to make it - I am non-functioning without sleep and the whole jet lag with a toddler who cried 80% of the day ON top of Christmas school parties was almost more that I could take. The second week was better and wow this week is even better. We are learning his limit of over stimulation and the importance of his nighttime routine. Grant's sleeping is better as long as he has a low key predictable night. I think he is either having night terrors or has reflux as some nights he is awake a lot. The tantrums and crying are much more infrequent and his sleeping has improved.

Praises we just returned from the pediatrician and this little guy's test have all come out GREAT! He does not need another vaccine until he is 4! and has no other illnesses! He will see a Cardiologist next month and I really believe he will have a great report there also.

Grant is getting along very well with his siblings - they make him laugh this deep contagious laugh. Amelia and Grant have had some rivalry which has resulting in some biting. She has learned he does not appreciate her taking his toys. The older girls are so sweet to encourage him to walk and teach him how to play with his new toys. It is always a fight for who gets to sit next to him in the car - he is very very loved! And yes, he can light saber fight!

I will say some things about this process that I pray will not come out negative. I do feel I need to be honest about my feelings. Grant is my son and I love him dearly, but this process is so much more complicated than I ever could have imagined. There have been some very low points of absolute exhaustion and stubbornness on his part that have brought me to my knees. At no point has this adoption been a place for "one of my needs" to be met and each week it becomes so clear that this adoption is not about me. It has been very hard - AND so worth it at the same time. His grief has been physically painful to watch. I know we have a long road towards bonding. Grant is very affectionate and will receive my affection, but he does not trust me and refuses to let me touch his bottle. He wants to be loved but will not allow himself to be loved at times. He prefers to cry alone and his tantrums and rage cannot be comforted. I do pray he will allow me to love him and that I will have the wisdom to patiently lead us there.

The Merriest Christmas!

This was our intended Christmas picture - The Christmas card was never printed. It was such a fun Christmas season packed with unpacking, baking, wrapping presents and just being together. I missed the children so much when I was in China. I will never let a day go by without many hugs and precious time together.

Travel

If you would like to follow our trip, we will be posting here.

It has been an exciting 5 days getting everything in place for our trip. There is nothing I could write to truly express the fullness of my heart right now. I am exceedingly thankful to be on this journey. Last night I had the sweetest dream about Grant - he was so full of joy. I am having a difficult time leaving all of our precious children, but my joy is also deep.

Skip and I will fly out of Chicago on Thanksgiving and get to China on Friday night. We will see our precious son's face IN PERSON on Monday morning at 10 AM.

We appreciate all of your prayers - Thank you!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Packing & Looking Towards Him

I am so excited how God keeps showing me how crucial each step has been. I think a lot as I wrap Christmas presents and pack and it has been so beautiful to see how each disappointment, waits that were too long and closed doors were ALL for the landscape of the journey. It is a great journey and He is so mighty to turn tears into His Glory. And although Grant is one of the largest blessings in my life - this was not about Grant or adoption. I am claiming freedom in areas that I did not know were in bondage. I say this to encourage anyone who is in the thick of any trial - HE NEVER wastes an opportunity to SHINE his GLORY! We just have to hang on.

I will say on another note, I tear up as I pack my children. I am overwhelmed with all of the details and will it be hot where we are all going or cold. It is so far and such a long trip. I am also struggling because I am over packer being forced to be conservative. Tomorrow I will leave for FL with all of the children to go to my parents house. We looking forward to being able celebrating my brothers 16th birthday with him!! The only draw back, 7 hours in the car . . . I am the only adult. We will stay until Sun or Mon and then I will come home with only three, pack some more and then Wednesday the house will be very quite. I am confident they will all be VERY well taken care of - probably too taken care of if you know what I mean. We have the most wonderful family and friends!!! and even though some I am sure think that we have lost our minds - they still love and support us. BLESSED!

You would be very glad to know that I am only taking 4 bottles - at one point (in a previous post) I had 13 packed :) AND he may not even take a bottle. That gives you a better understanding of my packing theory - "Just in case I need it." I keep downsizing Grant's stuff - limiting myself to 1/2 of a suitcase for him. I can do it . . . I can do it.

Grant will be in our arms on November 29th!!!! and we have a CA appointment for December 7th in Guangzhou. GLORY!

WE ARE GOING TO CHINA!!!!

Yesterday our agency told us we have TA (travel approval)! I am so absolutely grateful to our gracious Lord for Grant. We are still ironing out the details. I am having to slow down my desire to jump on the next plane. I am so thankful to have a husband that can think clearly and reasonably in the center of excitement. He is a rock no matter what the circumstances and oh how God knows exactly what I needed in a husband. I adore Skip and I am thrilled that adoption is a part of our story - such an incredible adventure. God is so good!

Skip and I will be traveling alone. We are wanting to leave on Thanksgiving Day and hopefully we will have a Consulate Appointment (CA) on December 8th or 9th. I have no concerns about our travel, however, the children's plans are a different story. We will leave all 5 here - two will go to my parents (out of state)- one to Skip's parents (out of town) and two will stay here with friends. I know our children will have a great time on their vacations away from home - and very well taken care of. It is just difficult to ask so much from our family and friends. Two weeks to iron out all the details, pack for 8, and get prepared to receive such a beautiful gift.

- We are praying for wisdom, discernment, guidance, and for Grant's heart.

Happy Fall!

Happy 5th Birthday Quinn!

Quinn at 2!

Quinn at 5!

The Double Light Saber inspired this . . .


All of a sudden during the opening of his presents, Quinn broke out in dance. We have no idea where he got his moves, perhaps watching his sisters. It was hysterical -

So thrilled about his gifts!

I love the clothes combination - comfort is very important :) He has these two pair of shorts that he insists on wearing after school.

It was a such a grand celebration. I just cannot believe he is already 5!

Fall Festival at CCPS

One of Quinn's Girl Friends

Friends

"Sure do wish this chair would recline while I enjoy my lunch."

Big Smile with Food

Full of Joy

Hay Ride

"Big Sisters are thee best!"

Every year the preschool has a fun fun fall festival. It is the same every year - my children love that it does not change. I love how exhausted we are when we come home for a long nap!

Wordless Wednesday

The Veil

This adoption journey has not been easy, but it is beautiful. There have just been some bumps that I have been to confused about to share. The clarity has finally come and I so hope I can articulate what I have learned.

I have to rewind back to October 2008 when we first started our journey to adopt. (Well really it started in March of 2008 when Skip said absolutely NO!) Skip and I had gone on a retreat and we had fallen in love with Faith - a precious little girl at New Day Foster Home. The privilege to be a part of New Day and her life has been incredible. Anyway, on this trip I was deep in prayer about how badly I wanted Faith to be our daughter, but I was afraid to ask God. Skip and I talked about it, I mostly cried because I did not know what if. What if I asked Him and He said no? What if by asking I could somehow mess up his plan for us? What if . . . what if I go down this path and I get so attached and she is not our daughter? I just know I could not stand the pain. What if . . . . I was so full of fear - the fear of hurting. We really felt like God spoke to our hearts that weekend to ask for Faith. I thought it was a done deal, I just knew we had a lot of paperwork to do quickly.

As the months passed we did grow more and more attached to this beautiful little girl through celebrations, wonderful pictures, and milestones in her life. The papers were finished and the CCAA had not said no, so in our minds it was still happening. And why would God say ask, and then say no?

It was the end of February and Skip called me with the devastating news, Faith's file had gone out on the shared list AND someone else had locked it. In one phone call, she was gone and so was my dream. It did not help for people to say, but isn't it wonderful she has a family? or you really need to focus on the bigger picture. My heart hurt so badly, I could not see beyond anything. I was very angry with God crying out, "But you told me to ask!" I wanted to know what kind of God tells you to ask for something and then doesn't give it? I also wondered if I was crazy and the voice I heard in my heart was something I made up. It was very difficult to imagine how I could ever trust hearing him again. The only thing I could hear from all the pain was, "she was your invitation." That did not help either because I wanted for her to be so much more. Grieving is so incredibly complex.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. I all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

As we waded through the disappointment and loss, I kept waiting for her new family to contact New Day, as most families adopting do and there was no sign of her being matched. The first 4 months we kept wondering which way to go - desperately looking for any sign and we just kept hearing No. We did not know if we should wait for her or not. ? Wondering all the time if the lack of a sign meant that perhaps eventually she would be our daughter or if we just had to wait. That was not an easy time either.

When we felt like we should proceed with the adoption and commit to an agency, we called the agency that matched her file. They confirmed that she did have a family and they had received PA - double checking that this was the right little girl.

We were matched with our son in July and we still had not seen any signs that Faith had been adopted. I have prayed and prayed for the veil to be lifted - to better understand why. Please do not get me wrong - I am crazy about Grant and I am so thankful he is our son. I just know that God would not waste my tears.

This morning, I got Faith's October update, 1 year ago we asked, and it said she has a family. As I read her update I cried and cried. Sweet Amelia kept handing me the dirty dish rag to wipe my tears. THIS WAS NOT HOW THE STORY WAS SUPPOSE TO END!!!!!! Is all I could think.

After I emailed a couple of friends, I began scrubbing the floors we uncovered under carpet - beautiful hardwood with paint and dried up wallpaper and yuck. As I scrubbed and scrubbed the song, God Bless The Broken Road That Led Me Straight to You kept running through my head. (Watched Hannah Montana The Movie this weekend). FINALLY IT CLICKED! I saw beyond the veil! PRAISES!!!!!!!

When we stepped into adoption, Skip was not on board - at all. I really believe his love for me is what made him say yes, but God needed to change his heart. After we asked the agency to ask for Faith's file, Skip adored her as much if not more than me. There was no questioning where his desire to adopt came from after this happened. "She was (a part of) your invitation."

We also were very fearful about certain SN and did not want to consider a heart baby. When we lost her file, we threw our arms open wide and for a time pursued a little boy with a very serious heart defect. ONLY GOD could change our hearts so dramatically. Our son, Grant has an ASD, congenital heart disease, and delayed growth. I assure you we would have never considered adopting him in the beginning.

He has shown me that He is enough. I am doing a Beth Moore Bible study on Esther and she has a segment on fear. She asked us to fill in the blank: What if ________, then ______. As I scrubbed and remembered my plea, "What if I ask and then we do not get her?" THEN ME! (GOD) - I am enough to carry you through ANYTHING. The fist blank is for your fear, the second blank is GOD. He did carry us through and he was faithful - even if it did not turn out how we had planned in the beginning and at times it did not feel good. As I look back, if this was the path that we had to take to get us to Grant - I would do it again and again. The kind of God that says ask and then doesn't give is the God that has plans so much bigger than my little mind can comprehend. I have also never felt so loved by my Savior - he is truly more than enough and we do not have any idea of the grandness of what he has in store for ALL of us.

Thank you God for Faith's family and for the huge impact that tiny little girl made in my heart!

I have never been so ready to go and get my son.


UPDATE: The floors I scrubbed are spotless - just in case you were wondering :).

Grant's Birthday Party!

Today I received Grants's birthday party pictures. It looks like they got him up from his nap and the celebration began. I LOVE the cake complete with a firework on top. He looks a little frightened - at almost 40 I too might have been a little nervous about the flame.
I wonder if it is as good as it looks? Have to try it out in China."Mmmmmm"

Any ideas about the red dot?
It is amazing how this girl can feed a two year old frosting and not have a lick on him. How did she get him to keep his hands on the table?
"Whew, sensory overload, can I go back to my nap?"

Article 5 - Visas - The Flu

Today started out to be such an exciting day because we found out the only thing we are now waiting for is the CCAA to sign off on our papers. Once that is done they will send us our TA. This is great news and perhaps/maybe we will travel around the end of November. It is all becoming so real and I go from being so excited to scared to paniced about the 5 we will leave here.

We also received our VISAS today!!!!!

And then Grace came home with a high fever and other symptoms similar to her sister, Olivia. Olivia is just now getting over the flu.

Fortunately, after our 3 day weekend last week we have a semi-cleared out bedroom to for quaranteen. We decided to move Olivia and Annabel upstairs. They were in a little room off the kitchen - very far the the rest of us. The transfer involved reshelving and paint two closets, moving Grace from her own room to share a room with Amelia and moving Annabel and Olivia to what used to be Grace's room. (confusing I know) I also transfered the children's clothes from summer to winter - CHAOS! DISASTER!

The rooms are almost finished and they turned out really cute as our girls are quiet the decorators! :)

Quinn and Grant will share a room - I hope. I have never had a toddler and a child share a room and I pray it works. The last three days with Grace and Amelia together have been okay, although Amelia is a talker! I have a very dear friend that has promised me for years that it will work - Amy it rest on you! Anyway, we will use the room down by the kitchen for guests and sick children - Gee wanna come stay with us?

So for the next few days, Grace will rest on mattress sitting on what used to be Olivia and Annabel's floor. The guestroom/sick room is our next big project! and the list goes on . . . praying we can finish most before we travel.

It Is All About Perspective

"This is my daddy and mama!"

When Quinn's teacher asked him to search through magazines to find a picture of his parents this is what he picked. I cannot quite put my finger on exactly what is so funny about his choice!
What do you suppose this this an advertisement for?
It made my day!

Happy Birthday Grant!

Little Yinan is two! Oh how we wish we could all be there to celebrate with him. I have sent gifts and hopefully he will have a cake delivered today. We are about to go to bed - he is about to celebrate his big day - half a world away. My heart is very heavy. I do wish we could have brought him home by now. I am trusting His timing, some days are just more difficult than others. I am also sad thinking about all the orphan's lives that are not celebrated.

Birthday blessings sweet Grant!

Kissable!

Almost Two Years Old!

After a longgggg day of home schooling I received such a wonderful gift - Updated pictures of Grant!!!! There is no greater gift while you are waiting to adopt your child. I am shocked at how he has grown, well let me say grown hair. We received a medical update on him last week that made me sad. He has not gained any weight, but he has grown 2 inches. He is so small for his age and he should be putting on the pounds. I think he has left his foster family and returned to the orphanage and perhaps that is the reason for the lack of weight gain.

He looks adorable in these pictures and seeing them has really calmed my heart. I have heard so many wonderful things about his orphanage and I believe they are taking good care of him.

We are so hoping that we are about 40 days away from receiving a travel approval from China. My heart will melt when I am able to kiss those precious cheeks.

"Isn't She Something?"

One time, only one time, an adult friend of ours made this face at Amelia. She now loves it! When she sees a camera this is now Her face. Amelia's teachers have tried almost everything to get a "good" picture of her, often commenting, "Isn't she something?" They have finally given up and posted a picture on the classroom door similar to this one, only in their picture Amelia is wearing a big beautiful bow and a smocked dress. She makes me smile!

Is 60 Days A Long Time?

Grant's Social Welfare Institute in Chengdu

I have been reading adoption packing lists from other families. I have to laugh because when you combine more than one list - the list soon gets much larger:). For some reason, I have spent too much time reading about the best bottle to take. I can so easily get focused on one thing and take it entirely too far. I really CANNOT wait to feed Grant a bottle! Even if he no longer use a bottle, he is going to get it back. It doesn't even have to be milk - I think I am taking just about every kind - (I am not kidding), except Dr. Browns ( too slow), I thought that one would frustrate him.

We are at least 60 days out from China sending us an invitation to travel - best case scenario. This next letter is called a TA. Once we receive our TA, we will schedule an appointment with the US Consulate in Guangzhou. So we are a couple of months away and I almost have Grant packed.

Skip and I will travel to China. The older girls really would like to go, but I really think this time should just be for Grant. Recently, I have had dreams about traveling with them. The last dream one of the girls was brushing their teeth and using the tap water - Because I forgot to remind them to not use the tap water! Nightmare! Anyway, I am so looking forward to traveling with Skip as he is a bit more responsible (LOL)! and it has been a very long time since we have been on a trip together.

As we look into traveling, we have found that adding Beijing to our travel will cost a bit more money. The more conservative trip for us would be flying into Hong Kong, going to Chengdu then to Guangzhou. I do think Hong Kong would be wonderful to see, I just have had my heart set on going to Beijing and New Day for a long time. God will work out that detail.

I am also am wondering if we need to take a video recorder/cam recorder. We do have one, from about 10 years ago. My father gave it to us before Olivia was born - ALMOST 11 years ago! It works great, but the battery has issues. We had to replace the original battery and the new one has to be forcefully but carefully rigged up to the charger - there is a 50/50 chance that the battery will be charged after 12 hours. It is very unpredictable. ? would I regret not having a video tape?

Embracing Grant

I still cannot believe our LOA arrived last week. I cannot believe China said YES, that we could be Grant's parents. The days that followed I could not help in the wee morning hours going over and over our adoption journey in my mind. I also could not get my arms around why I had been so hesitant to believe that Grant was indeed our son. Slowly I have realized how much I have guarded my heart. This journey has been one of the most difficult and moving times we have ever had. I will never know the whys or the difficult forks in the road we encountered. God had lifted the veil on some of the heartbreaking times and then there are others that we are
other times that are still unclear and hurt as deeply as they did the day they happened.

In these wee morning hours I can circle the mountain and wonder - what if I did this or what if we would have had more faith or what if . . . it all comes down to me not wanting to feel pain and needing to trust that just because I did not get what I wanted, He is still good. I do not want to hurt and quite honestly I know that God does not want me to hurt. But if this was the path to our son, I would do it all over again. When God so graciously put adoption in my heart, I had no idea what He was up to. And despite the trials, there has been so much victory! I have been set free, places that I had pretty much given up on. Praises! I am so glad I poured my heart out and the blessings certainly outweigh the pain.

I am so thankful that The Almighty's ways are higher and so much grander than I will ever know. His blessings are abundant and take our hearts to places we do not know even exist.
I would not change one second of this journey if I had to go back. I am so utterly grateful for the way it all turned out. And without any doubt in my mind, I know Grant Yi Nan is my son - I will never look him in the eyes and wonder. He is no longer an orphan, he is my son - And during those early morning hours, I can hardly imagine what holding him is going to feel like, as I hug him with absolute joy and praise - as he cries in fear and uncertainty. I get to love him! And I can say, I know you are scared, but trust me it is going to be good sweet Grant.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY!!!!!!

91 Days Closer

I can hardly wait to see Grant - will he look like his pictures? Will we scare him? Who will he initially want to be with? Skip? Me? It seems like we have been looking at his sweet picture for so much longer than 91 days.

The New House

Before

After

These are the before and after pictures of our house. We are settled in now - Whew!!!
We do have a lot of painting left, but for the most part all of the major work is finished.

The tropical depressions have come through our area and we have had a lot of rain, which introduced us to some leaks. Off the back of our house we have two sun rooms; one upstairs off of the kitchen, and another one below it downstairs. Both of them (upstairs and down) are leaking. In addition to leaks, we have a horrible ant problem. I really think that because the house sat vacant for so long, these little critters settled in. Last week I opened my car door and it was full of ants! I will say we do have crumbs in our car, but for the most part it is clean. We are trying to overcome these tiny little beasts - very difficult! I do not like ants at all and our two younger girls use to scream at the sight of one - now we just take turns smashing them. If anyone has any ant advice, we welcome it! We are in the process of mapping out a plan with our exterminator - Perhaps we live on an ant bed, I really do not know?

Notwithstanding the leaks, we actually love the sun rooms. One positive about the sun room upstairs is its roof... it is aluminum and glass. I have always wanted a cabin with a tin roof because I love the sound of the rain hitting it - not a downpour - but just gentle rain. It is such a soothing beautiful sound. The last few weeks, the rains have been very hard and when it hits the sun room roof it can be pretty loud (in addition to the aluminum and glass, the floor is tile without any rugs.) God does have a sense of humor and I use it to remind me of how far we have all come. Two years ago it was frantic when the weather changed and now everyone always knows when the weather is changing because you can hear it AND praises! there is no fear!!!!! everyone just moves to a quieter room. He blesses us beyond measure!

Day 77 Waiting For LOA

So Absolutely Adorable! (20 mths)

A couple months ago we asked Brian Stuy if he would try and find the newspaper with Grant's finding ad. He did find it and oh what an adorable picture! The picture is grainy, but you can make out Grant at 3 months old - PRECIOUS ! He is very tiny and has big round eyes. The newspaper is so sad. There are about 30 children on the page - infants through 8 years old - all abandoned. It is such an honor to look at Grant's precious face knowing God chose him to bless us. There are millions of orphans in the world and this particular one will be our son. It is really overwhelming to think about.

Anyway, one of Grant's characteristics listed in his finding ad was he had an umbilical hernia. In all of our paperwork, we had never read he had a hernia. We were totality fine with him having a hernia, however, in order to get Grant's visa in China, our home study report has to list that we are able to handle Grant's medical condition - each condition listed, and this one had not been listed - OH MY! To list it we would have to file another addendum/Supplement 3 AND pay for another home study update.
We called our WONDERFUL China agency coordinator asked if she could ask about Grant's umbilical hernia. She contacted her China representative and he send an email today a saying that when the orphanage received Grant, it looked as if he had an umbilical hernia and they felt that was important to include in the ad. He did not and does not have a hernia. That was great news, but they actually spoke to the orphanage! and that was all that was said?!?! Yes, that was all that was discussed! - did they did not say anything else about the most adorable little boy in all of China -

I am just flat out chatty, because there is no way I could make any call and just ask one question.

As time goes by my heart aches for Grant - I would love to know every tiny detail about his life - I would even take one detail from the week - or month for that matter. When our coordinator realized how badly we wanted any additional information, she kindly offered to get a full update - we decided to wait until closer to travel.

Here is what we do know about Grant:
He smiles.

He loves sweets. He is a Perkins!

height 75.5 cm (29.7 inches), weight 9.2 kg (19 lbs) - I have no idea of his clothing size

He was sent to a foster family out of the orphanage when he was 11 months of age.

Nan Nan (his nickname) has four other foster siblings. He loves to play with them all. PERFECT~ how about one more to play with!

He can walk now, but he prefers to have one hand holding while walking. I get to be THAT person!

I cannot wait to know so much more about him!

Anyway, If you are new to China adoption process, I highly recommend you watch National Geographic's documentary called China's Lost Girls. It is very moving and does a great job discussing China's one child policy. Lisa Ling follows a family through the great adventure in China adopting their daughter. They are even from Atlanta! It will show you what the process will look like for us in China.

You can view this documentary for free on www.hulu.com. In the search box type China's Lost Girls and then chose the picture of Lisa Ling with a little Chinese girl labeled China's Lost Girls.

Supplement 3 Approved!

Wow, we just had great news delivered. I will have to back up to explain. As soon as we closed on our house, we had to send Immigration a home study addendum/Supplement 3. Our social worker had to come and visit our new home and rewrite certain parts of our home study. Immigration has to know our exact address and if our house meets certain standards - considering the condition of this house, our Social Worker had A LOT of confidence in us. I really think they want to know that everyone is not living in one room (although we were at one point :) and that it is a relatively safe home- also qustionable at times. Our wonderful social worker quickly wrote the addendum/Supplement 3. Anyway, Immigration approved our move and new home study addendum! Yesterday we found out that it was not delivered to Immigration until the 10th by FedEx overnight. I have been checking for a week to see if they recieved it - NO one could find it. Yes, we mailed on the 3rd and they received on the 10th?? God is grand and much bigger than extended overnight service! Our move has had no effect on Grant's adoption, I am so thankful and THRILLED. We are on day 71 waiting for LOA and totality trusting God and His timing.

Sweet Grant I love this house because it is where we will be bringing you home. It will not be long.

Day 64 Waiting for LOA

It has been 64 days! I must say the move has made time go by quickly. We continue to pray that is number does not go too high. We have seen this wait last up to 150 days - :(. We are at the mark where it could happen any day.

Happy Birthday Sweet Grace!

Grace and her new kitten, Sarah

I cannot believe she is already six. We surprised Grace with a new kitten. I was partially for selfish reasons. We live in a wooded area and I am terrified of snakes. At the suggestion of a good friend, who happened to have a litter of kittens, we decided to get a cat. She is a sweet kitten and our cockapoo, Bailey, LOVES her. However, the feeling is not mutual - Sarah tolerates Bailey's playfulness.

Laboring

No, I am not in labor, however my physical and emotional pain is close. We are in our new house after taking 6 days to move out of our old house. We finished at 2:30 AM the day before we closed. I was so tired that it was difficult to sleep. I have never been that exhausted. We moved in to fumes from hardwood floors, paint and dry wall sanding mess, lots of bugs and cob webs, and toilets that would only flush with the help of a plunger - yuck! Have I said I really love this house? Although it is not everything it should be right now, it is going to be great.

Fortunately, the house has a finished basement and the 7 of us camped out. (I was able to wash it down with Clorox before we set up camp and we have not seen a live scorpion since three weeks ago - toxic bug killing spray helped). Without a kitchen, I have become quite creative with a toaster. We have created great memories is such a short time - big highs and low lows. I believe the lowest moment was when one of the workers called the fire department because of some unknown fumes. That resulted in a verbal confrontation between the plumber and the painter - the painter claiming he was NOT USING OIL PAINT! I have discovered that unless there is a contractor over the project, the different subs are less than friendly with one another. My children's knowledge of words has also been expanded due to some interesting bumper stickers UGHHHH. The fire trucks did leave and it was decided that the fumes were from the floors or perhaps the bug killer combined with the floor fumes which had been trapped inside the non-venting hot water heater closet. Oh did I mention that for 5 days we showered with less than luke warm water. It is getting better every day and oh how I loved my hot bath tonight. God's provision has been so real and evident despite the lack of comfort.

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!!! We would not have made it without them. At the time of greatest need someone would step in or show up to help. Witht eh exception of some large furniture, we moved ourselves.

Skip's mother helped us with the small ones towards the end of the move. Such a HUGE HUGE blessing. My mother came to help as soon as we were able to move furniture onto the floors - I have never had enough nerve to ask her if I was adopted. I should though because I do not have anything close to her stamina, energy, patience and organization skills. She had us all going from sun-up until 10:30 each night and amazingly we ate a hot meal EVERY NIGHT! We are almost out of boxes!!!!!! I just have my office and kitchen boxes left to unpack - oh and boxes of toys that I cannot bring myself to open . Hopefully this weekend our kitchen will be finished.

The emotional aspect of life right now;
My dearest friend is moving to Nashville. This all came about during the frantic packing of our house. I have been in denial over her move. Her husband has already accepted a job so she has been here alone with her children. I wanted her to sell her house soon, but I thought it would take at least a month, which would be just enough time for it all to sink in. She sold her house in less than a week! She is the friend I touch base with at least every two days, she knows all of my issues - and accepts me, she is the one I call first, she has always lived less than a minute away, she is not afraid to tell me the truth when I need to hear it, she has held my hand through times when I could not see beyond the pain, she is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met - and very humble - she knows everything! and the dearest thing about her is she has taught me so much about the love of Christ because she lives it. She was the friend who helped me accept the fact that I do not fit in the box - and that is okay. This is the amazing thing, I have had many friends call me and express that She is the same friend to them as she is to me. I am going to miss her!!

Grant

Thank you Danielle for adding Grant's precious picture!  I cannot wait to have a picture of ALL six together.

Grant's Surprise!

Our agency helped us send a care package to Grant. The only stipulation is it has to fit into a Zipl@c bag. I had a very hard time fitting everything I wanted to send him into a Zipl@c. I will say I hope the bag did not explode on its way to our agency in Washington.

We sent Grant clothes, two cameras for his foster family to fill with pictures, a photo album with all of our pictures, snugly blanket and two small squirting animals.
I also made him this blanket to hang in his crib. I must say it is very strange to have a child so far away. I am thankful for this summer, which has kept us quite busy. Grant should receive this surprise this week.

I over heard Quinn telling his swim teacher about his brother. She asked him his name and Quinn said, "His name is Grant, because Grant is a very strong name." We pray for Grant's strong heart and strong growth.

Wordless Wednesday

Blessed with a House to make a HOME!

Abundant Blessings

They accepted our offer today! I am beyond words with this blessing - it is something we never dreamed of, though it was deep in our hearts. He is after our hearts!

We are coming sweet Grant, just ironing out a few details!

I Think We Have A Home!

Last week was crazy. We know we are closing on our house at the end of the month, so we began packing and looking for a house. We decided the closing date because of all of the paperwork we need to resubmit about our new home for Grant's home study. We do not want to waste one minute of time away from Grant if WE can help it. Anyway, we looked at a few houses to rent - one was on a lake without a fence - NO, another one we took too long to respond back-we lost it, another was twice as much as our mortgage now! We became a bit unsettled about where we were going to live, all the time praying that we could have a comfortable home for our family. Honestly, I was very discouraged and had a lot of tears.

One afternoon, Skip drove around neighborhoods and called several Realtors that had vacant houses for rent. The thought of not finding a house to rent NEVER entered our minds. There are so many houses that have been on the market for a long. Anyway, Skip called about a house and the realtor referred him to the bank owning the house. When Skip asked the banker about renting, the banker asked Skip why he wouldn't just buy it. Skip said because I feel like we should rent and renting is safe with this economy. The banker told him to think about buying the house and Skip asked the banker to please think about renting it. Skip came home that night and told me all about this great house, on a cul-de-sac, great neighborhood, lots of space, on a little bit of land and about his conversation with this banker. He said it was a great price and something we could afford and he wanted to pray about buying it. In my mind that was not the plan - In the midst of where I thought God was sending us, was He now asking us to switch gears?

My verse: Trust the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowldege Him and He will make your paths straight.

The next day we went to see this house. This house would be perfect for our family. It needs some cosmetic work and cleaning up, but I think this floor plan is even better for us than the house we are leaving.

We have put an offer on the house and every day while we wait, we drive out to see it. The bank is having a board meeting on Tuesday and they will let us know then if they officially accept the offer.

I would so much rather buy a house rather than rent. Transistion is such a difficult place for me to rest and although God is teaching me so much about what a true home is, I desire a place of our own. God does know the desires of our hearts and I am so grateful that as time goes by, I am more and more comfortable trusting Him with mine. He is faithful and good - always.

Just Enough Light

I do believe that any observer would have diagnosed me with ADD today. There is so much going on in this house! Besides packing to move, Olivia and Annabel are leaving this weekend for their two week summer camp. We washed clothes, packed boxes, collected camp supplies, folded clothes, cleaned up a large glass of spilled water from the kitchen, organized messy drawers, counted socks, went to buy more socks, measured the length on shorts, cleaned up after Amelia . . . you get the idea. At about 4:00 Skip called to tell me to check my emails because we had received Grant's update. I could not open the email fast enough. Oh what a wonderful surprise to see our precious boy! AND he has hair! It did make me very sad to see how much he had changed. He went from 8 teeth to 16, gained 3 lbs, and is walking. What a blessing he looks so happy! They also told us that his family fosters 4 other children and he loves playing with them- I think that is unusual for a family to foster so many children, but so perfect for Grant. We have been praying that God would prepare Grant's heart to enter into a large family. He has many siblings that cannot wait to love on him. Olivia, his older sister, keeps telling everyone that SHE will be the FIRST to hold him. He is such a loved child already even he though he is so far away.

Grant's eyes are so full of life - I am so anxious to see his sweet personality and how God has shaped him. Like each child, Grant will have such an important place in our family, uniquely gifted beyond anything Skip and I could ever nurture. One of my biggest prayers is that I will be able to look his foster mother in the eyes and thank her for loving and caring for our son.Grant Yinan at 20 months old, smiling for his mama!

This wonderful gift was followed thirty minutes later with a call from Skip telling me our rental house fell through. I am so sad that we will not be living next to my friend, but I am believing that there will be a place for us. God is always faithful.

It Sold!

A few months back I mentioned that we felt led that God was leading us to sell our house. I think deep down inside I did not feel like it would sell, I thought it would be one of those places in our lives where He wanted to see if we were willing. Could we surrender all? My mind was on board - it is only a house. Last week in church I was talking to a friend who had also been in the process of trying to sell her home. She told me about the big celebration they had when they pulled up their sign because it had been 6 months and they felt like God had told them to stay. Her husband's business was really suffering and at the time they really need to cut all corners. They are doing much better now - praises. After church I told Skip that now we were getting closer to the fall and going to get Grant that perhaps we should reconsider selling, he felt the same way. I even asked him to pull the sign out of the yard, that God could sell this house without a sign if He was going to. And surely He would have done it by now.

I was so excited because I just knew we were staying, we too would have a celebration - and then I got a call on Monday from someone who wanted to see the house and for some reason I just knew this was the call. We did sell the house to a beautiful family on Wednesday night- and now if my heart and my head would just line up and be in agreement, I would be fine.

My head knows that financially this house is a lot for us in this economy and there is a lot of freedom from bondage with less debt. In all of our married life we have never been debt free. It knows that God always takes us from better to even better - even when it doesn't look like it. This is an answer to our prayer that we wanted to live an extraordinary life in Christ - however he chose to use us. And only God could have sold this house in this economy.

But, my heart has felt the laughter and tears cried over in this house, the scriptures we wrote on the 2x4's as we rebuilt and reflected on the might hand of God that saved us, the shelter the walls provided as God healed and strengthened our family and marriage, the contentment we had finally reached and every physical detail . . . my house. It is very difficult. I have really come to better understand why Abraham's father decided to stay in Ur.

We hope to move the middle of July in order to quickly get settled. Our social worker will have to write an updated about our new home and we will then have to file the update with immigration. We are praying every step of the way that this does not delay Grant's homecoming. In all the craziness of looking for a home and packing, I have moments when I rejoice because of the reality that we HAVE A SON!! God has blessed my heart's desire abundantly! I look at Grant's little picture and it doesn't seem real. I cannot wait to have him in my arms. God is always so good! and His ways are so much higher!

One day I want to go back to having the outlook of a child. The children are so excited to be able to live in another house with new neighbors! and all of the new neighborhood pets!!!!

Oh we did find a great house to rent for the next year. It is right next door to a very dear friend and I am so excited to share this season of our lives together! It IS going to be good!

Grant Yinan

Precious
Grant Yi Nan - 11 months old

On June 8th, 2009 our adoption agency sent us Grant's file and 6 other files of beautiful precious children. My heart was racing because I knew we had only a few minutes to lock a file as they were on the Shared List - many agencies have access to the Shared List and these files had just been put on it. I called Skip at work and we quickly discussed the files. Yi Nan's file and his big beautiful dark eyes especially stood out. We read over his special needs and all 9 pages of his file :). Fortunately, we have already studied his special need for the past 3 months - we have done extensive research and spoken to many families who have children with similar conditions. We decided we were very comfortable with his special needs. We quickly had our agency lock his file. Once the file was locked so no one else had access to it, we had 48 hours to have his file review by doctors. That night we kept looking at his picture, rereading his file and soon we fell in love with this precious boy and his amazing spirit, which was written about in his file! His beautiful big eyes and precious smile and tiny teeth captured our hearts. We remained in constant prayer and very as we continued to ask, :Could this be our son? After dinner I researched the meaning if his name on the Internet. I typed in Yi and it said, "Yi: second; as in second son." We had emailed his file to a specialist in Boston and that night at 11:30 P.M. we received his response! Skip sat down on the bed and pulled up the email and before I could get there -it took was seemed like forever to get around the pillows in order to sit next to Skip. He was going to read it without me! We read it together and it seemed like the world was put on hold - it really was surreal and so gosh darn exciting! We read it as fast as we could, read it again - WOW! his opinion about Grant's special need was truly something our family could handle. Peace, a peace that was so new to reviewing a file. We went to bed praying that we would like to submit a request to adopt him - and praying for God's wisdom and direction. It was very difficult to fall asleep! The next morning I turned to my assigned reading - June 9th in my book "read the Bible in a year" - Psalm 127. God is so good!! We wrote our Letter of Intent (LOI) and emailed our agency a LOI on behalf of Grant Yi Nan! Our second medical review came the next afternoon in full agreement with the first opinion. June 9th, 2009 we officially asked China if we could adopt Grant. Whew! that was quite a incredible 18 hours! God is so good!