Grant and Grace
Daddy's Boy
The BOYS!
JOY!
JOY! JOY!
Grant is a delight! He is full of joy and laughter. Before we went to China I had a very vivid dream of him and he was so happy. I had prayed that despite his life in the orphanage, he would have true joy - God is so good!
Since our arrival home he has made a lot of progress. The first week I did not know if I was going to make it - I am non-functioning without sleep and the whole jet lag with a toddler who cried 80% of the day ON top of Christmas school parties was almost more that I could take. The second week was better and wow this week is even better. We are learning his limit of over stimulation and the importance of his nighttime routine. Grant's sleeping is better as long as he has a low key predictable night. I think he is either having night terrors or has reflux as some nights he is awake a lot. The tantrums and crying are much more infrequent and his sleeping has improved.
Praises we just returned from the pediatrician and this little guy's test have all come out GREAT! He does not need another vaccine until he is 4! and has no other illnesses! He will see a Cardiologist next month and I really believe he will have a great report there also.
Grant is getting along very well with his siblings - they make him laugh this deep contagious laugh. Amelia and Grant have had some rivalry which has resulting in some biting. She has learned he does not appreciate her taking his toys. The older girls are so sweet to encourage him to walk and teach him how to play with his new toys. It is always a fight for who gets to sit next to him in the car - he is very very loved! And yes, he can light saber fight!
I will say some things about this process that I pray will not come out negative. I do feel I need to be honest about my feelings. Grant is my son and I love him dearly, but this process is so much more complicated than I ever could have imagined. There have been some very low points of absolute exhaustion and stubbornness on his part that have brought me to my knees. At no point has this adoption been a place for "one of my needs" to be met and each week it becomes so clear that this adoption is not about me. It has been very hard - AND so worth it at the same time. His grief has been physically painful to watch. I know we have a long road towards bonding. Grant is very affectionate and will receive my affection, but he does not trust me and refuses to let me touch his bottle. He wants to be loved but will not allow himself to be loved at times. He prefers to cry alone and his tantrums and rage cannot be comforted. I do pray he will allow me to love him and that I will have the wisdom to patiently lead us there.
Since our arrival home he has made a lot of progress. The first week I did not know if I was going to make it - I am non-functioning without sleep and the whole jet lag with a toddler who cried 80% of the day ON top of Christmas school parties was almost more that I could take. The second week was better and wow this week is even better. We are learning his limit of over stimulation and the importance of his nighttime routine. Grant's sleeping is better as long as he has a low key predictable night. I think he is either having night terrors or has reflux as some nights he is awake a lot. The tantrums and crying are much more infrequent and his sleeping has improved.
Praises we just returned from the pediatrician and this little guy's test have all come out GREAT! He does not need another vaccine until he is 4! and has no other illnesses! He will see a Cardiologist next month and I really believe he will have a great report there also.
Grant is getting along very well with his siblings - they make him laugh this deep contagious laugh. Amelia and Grant have had some rivalry which has resulting in some biting. She has learned he does not appreciate her taking his toys. The older girls are so sweet to encourage him to walk and teach him how to play with his new toys. It is always a fight for who gets to sit next to him in the car - he is very very loved! And yes, he can light saber fight!
I will say some things about this process that I pray will not come out negative. I do feel I need to be honest about my feelings. Grant is my son and I love him dearly, but this process is so much more complicated than I ever could have imagined. There have been some very low points of absolute exhaustion and stubbornness on his part that have brought me to my knees. At no point has this adoption been a place for "one of my needs" to be met and each week it becomes so clear that this adoption is not about me. It has been very hard - AND so worth it at the same time. His grief has been physically painful to watch. I know we have a long road towards bonding. Grant is very affectionate and will receive my affection, but he does not trust me and refuses to let me touch his bottle. He wants to be loved but will not allow himself to be loved at times. He prefers to cry alone and his tantrums and rage cannot be comforted. I do pray he will allow me to love him and that I will have the wisdom to patiently lead us there.
