Big Boy

Grant is growing up, some days reluctantly.

Good-bye Crib

All tucked in for the night . .

in his big boy bed.

Happy Birthday Grant!

first day ~ December 2009 ~ Chengdu China

now

Sweet Grant is 4

he is

busy smart brave
highly capable
strong character quick extremely observant
Passonate about sweets funny
Joyful beautiful
easily excitable
full of love

My precious gift that only God could have hand picked just for me. I love you with a love that is much greater than anything I have to give. I am grateful for you. Happy happy birthday!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Had to capture his cute little face.

Happy Chinese New Year

The Perkins and Friends Chinese New Year Celebration

It has been so long since my last post. I am going to try and at least post once a week - try being the key word. For the Chinese New Year we went to celebrate in another town with my other Chinese child. This last year, as I yearned to adopt again, the Lord brought a very special young woman into our lives, Kari. Kari lived with us after completing her masters while she looked for a job. Kari is from the Henen Province in China and has lived in the states for about 3 years. She moved to another town the beginning of fall ~ we miss her, but she is close enough to visit. How great that God put her in our lives. It was not time for us to adopt, but He knew my heart and my desire. This time the relationship was not strainned by emotional challenges ~ it instead a sweet friendship and a time of learning for both of us. Kari has taught me so much about the culture of China and she was able to be a part of a large family.

Kari and Grant

Can you believe he is turning into a little boy. He was such a baby when we met him in China and look at him now! Grant is sweet and passionate about the things he loves like star wars and candy. He is full of life and love and keeps everyone on their toes.

End of Summer

It looks like I am only able to post at the beginning and end of a season.

I was sorry to see summer come to an end and I did not finish ALL that I intended to finish. It will all get done.

One of the most exciting parts of summer has been watching Grant grow and adjust even more. He is amazing! and precious and such a ball full of joy and excitement. I cannot imagine our lives without him. I cannot believe God chose me to be his mother. I love him so very much.

Recently, I received the translation of his Half the Sky report. This report begins when Grant arrived at the orphanage at 3 months old. His Half The Sky nanny wrote in the journal monthly and sometimes weekly. She was very honest and surprisingly open about Grant and her feelings towards him. It breaks my heart to read. Grant was a very sick baby and arrived at orphanage very underweight and hungry. He had reflux and refused to eat. She writes about how his face first thing in the morning lacked emotion and how he cried and cried. There were places that seemed as though she was praying by saying, "What am I to do, he needs so much and he is one of 20 children I have to take care of." He was very slow to grow and it took a lot of experimenting for her to figure out a way to feed him.

I will never forget an email I received from New Day asking for prayer for Forest. It was after Christmas and Forest had been placed back in his orphanage. The orphanage contacted New Day after a few weeks and told them Forest had lost his will to live and was no longer eating. Forest soon returned to New Day and as long as I live the picture of his emaciated little body will always remain in my mind. Little did I know that at that time, as we prayed fervently for little Forest, our son was also fighting for his life.

I will always be so very grateful for this angel in Grant's life. I believe her daily touch and smile, her tenderness and occasional candy, gave Grant hope to endure the difficult times. Thank you Lord for bringing him home.

4 Months Home

It has been a long time since I have posted. On days I have time to sit down at the computer, I only have time to read my favorite blogs and then it is time to get back moving again. I love reading my friend's blogs and am so thankful I am to be able to keep up with all the amazing things God is doing!!!

We have had a really exciting few months. Grant is doing so very well!!! I am amazed and in such awe of his determination. He is running, beginning to talk AND he will identify ME in a crowded room as his mama!! He now loves to hug and instead of me asking him for a kiss, he will ask me and let me tell you it melts my heart.

Speaking of his heart - it is doing very well. We will follow up with the cardiologist next year and continue to watch his ASD. The biggest obstacle we are facing now is Grant needs major dental work. Under general anesthesia they need to do 7 caps and two extractions in addition to some nerve work. Grant's abscessed teeth do cause him some pain and make eating solid food difficult. His weight gain and growth have slowed down. Because of Grant's heart condition, we will have the surgery at a Children's Hospital in Atlanta - I am so very thankful for the pediatric dentist who has decided to go the extra 100 miles for Grant. We are praying (and would love for you to join us) that God would open some rather large doors for Grant's surgery. Our medical insurance will not cover Grant's general anesthesia (privately funded insurance plan), which means we are paying for 2.5 hours of surgery out of pocket - dental will cover only two of the caps. We are asking our medical insurance to please reconsider their decision to not cover dental anesthesia or for the hospital to cut us one heck of a deal! Right now our our insurance company feels like strapping him down 5 different times is a practical solution for his dental needs. ?
It has been very interesting because open heart surgery would not have cost nearly as much. We never knew anything about privately funded insurance plans until now. Grant is covered fully by our insurance, but if you read the fine lines of a privately funded plan, some things are not covered regardless of the law. But with that said, most things are covered and we are blessed with being able to see many wonderful doctors.

The dentist who has agreed to see Grant is a special medical needs pediatric dentist. He is encouraging us to get Grant tested for DiGeorge Syndrome. DiGeorge Syndrome is a syndrome where there is a deletion of the 22nd Chromosome. Grant dose have a few of the markers of DiGeorge, but I will be very surprised it the test is postive. I am so crazy about every single cell of his DNA and if he dose have DiGeorge, it will not change one single thing about the wonderful things God has planned for his life. This is one strongly determined and smart little boy.

Life After The Adoption Trip

Grant and Grace

Daddy's Boy

The BOYS!

JOY!

JOY! JOY!

Grant is a delight! He is full of joy and laughter. Before we went to China I had a very vivid dream of him and he was so happy. I had prayed that despite his life in the orphanage, he would have true joy - God is so good!

Since our arrival home he has made a lot of progress. The first week I did not know if I was going to make it - I am non-functioning without sleep and the whole jet lag with a toddler who cried 80% of the day ON top of Christmas school parties was almost more that I could take. The second week was better and wow this week is even better. We are learning his limit of over stimulation and the importance of his nighttime routine. Grant's sleeping is better as long as he has a low key predictable night. I think he is either having night terrors or has reflux as some nights he is awake a lot. The tantrums and crying are much more infrequent and his sleeping has improved.

Praises we just returned from the pediatrician and this little guy's test have all come out GREAT! He does not need another vaccine until he is 4! and has no other illnesses! He will see a Cardiologist next month and I really believe he will have a great report there also.

Grant is getting along very well with his siblings - they make him laugh this deep contagious laugh. Amelia and Grant have had some rivalry which has resulting in some biting. She has learned he does not appreciate her taking his toys. The older girls are so sweet to encourage him to walk and teach him how to play with his new toys. It is always a fight for who gets to sit next to him in the car - he is very very loved! And yes, he can light saber fight!

I will say some things about this process that I pray will not come out negative. I do feel I need to be honest about my feelings. Grant is my son and I love him dearly, but this process is so much more complicated than I ever could have imagined. There have been some very low points of absolute exhaustion and stubbornness on his part that have brought me to my knees. At no point has this adoption been a place for "one of my needs" to be met and each week it becomes so clear that this adoption is not about me. It has been very hard - AND so worth it at the same time. His grief has been physically painful to watch. I know we have a long road towards bonding. Grant is very affectionate and will receive my affection, but he does not trust me and refuses to let me touch his bottle. He wants to be loved but will not allow himself to be loved at times. He prefers to cry alone and his tantrums and rage cannot be comforted. I do pray he will allow me to love him and that I will have the wisdom to patiently lead us there.

Grant's Birthday Party!

Today I received Grants's birthday party pictures. It looks like they got him up from his nap and the celebration began. I LOVE the cake complete with a firework on top. He looks a little frightened - at almost 40 I too might have been a little nervous about the flame.
I wonder if it is as good as it looks? Have to try it out in China."Mmmmmm"

Any ideas about the red dot?
It is amazing how this girl can feed a two year old frosting and not have a lick on him. How did she get him to keep his hands on the table?
"Whew, sensory overload, can I go back to my nap?"

Happy Birthday Grant!

Little Yinan is two! Oh how we wish we could all be there to celebrate with him. I have sent gifts and hopefully he will have a cake delivered today. We are about to go to bed - he is about to celebrate his big day - half a world away. My heart is very heavy. I do wish we could have brought him home by now. I am trusting His timing, some days are just more difficult than others. I am also sad thinking about all the orphan's lives that are not celebrated.

Birthday blessings sweet Grant!

Kissable!

Almost Two Years Old!

After a longgggg day of home schooling I received such a wonderful gift - Updated pictures of Grant!!!! There is no greater gift while you are waiting to adopt your child. I am shocked at how he has grown, well let me say grown hair. We received a medical update on him last week that made me sad. He has not gained any weight, but he has grown 2 inches. He is so small for his age and he should be putting on the pounds. I think he has left his foster family and returned to the orphanage and perhaps that is the reason for the lack of weight gain.

He looks adorable in these pictures and seeing them has really calmed my heart. I have heard so many wonderful things about his orphanage and I believe they are taking good care of him.

We are so hoping that we are about 40 days away from receiving a travel approval from China. My heart will melt when I am able to kiss those precious cheeks.

Embracing Grant

I still cannot believe our LOA arrived last week. I cannot believe China said YES, that we could be Grant's parents. The days that followed I could not help in the wee morning hours going over and over our adoption journey in my mind. I also could not get my arms around why I had been so hesitant to believe that Grant was indeed our son. Slowly I have realized how much I have guarded my heart. This journey has been one of the most difficult and moving times we have ever had. I will never know the whys or the difficult forks in the road we encountered. God had lifted the veil on some of the heartbreaking times and then there are others that we are
other times that are still unclear and hurt as deeply as they did the day they happened.

In these wee morning hours I can circle the mountain and wonder - what if I did this or what if we would have had more faith or what if . . . it all comes down to me not wanting to feel pain and needing to trust that just because I did not get what I wanted, He is still good. I do not want to hurt and quite honestly I know that God does not want me to hurt. But if this was the path to our son, I would do it all over again. When God so graciously put adoption in my heart, I had no idea what He was up to. And despite the trials, there has been so much victory! I have been set free, places that I had pretty much given up on. Praises! I am so glad I poured my heart out and the blessings certainly outweigh the pain.

I am so thankful that The Almighty's ways are higher and so much grander than I will ever know. His blessings are abundant and take our hearts to places we do not know even exist.
I would not change one second of this journey if I had to go back. I am so utterly grateful for the way it all turned out. And without any doubt in my mind, I know Grant Yi Nan is my son - I will never look him in the eyes and wonder. He is no longer an orphan, he is my son - And during those early morning hours, I can hardly imagine what holding him is going to feel like, as I hug him with absolute joy and praise - as he cries in fear and uncertainty. I get to love him! And I can say, I know you are scared, but trust me it is going to be good sweet Grant.

Day 77 Waiting For LOA

So Absolutely Adorable! (20 mths)

A couple months ago we asked Brian Stuy if he would try and find the newspaper with Grant's finding ad. He did find it and oh what an adorable picture! The picture is grainy, but you can make out Grant at 3 months old - PRECIOUS ! He is very tiny and has big round eyes. The newspaper is so sad. There are about 30 children on the page - infants through 8 years old - all abandoned. It is such an honor to look at Grant's precious face knowing God chose him to bless us. There are millions of orphans in the world and this particular one will be our son. It is really overwhelming to think about.

Anyway, one of Grant's characteristics listed in his finding ad was he had an umbilical hernia. In all of our paperwork, we had never read he had a hernia. We were totality fine with him having a hernia, however, in order to get Grant's visa in China, our home study report has to list that we are able to handle Grant's medical condition - each condition listed, and this one had not been listed - OH MY! To list it we would have to file another addendum/Supplement 3 AND pay for another home study update.
We called our WONDERFUL China agency coordinator asked if she could ask about Grant's umbilical hernia. She contacted her China representative and he send an email today a saying that when the orphanage received Grant, it looked as if he had an umbilical hernia and they felt that was important to include in the ad. He did not and does not have a hernia. That was great news, but they actually spoke to the orphanage! and that was all that was said?!?! Yes, that was all that was discussed! - did they did not say anything else about the most adorable little boy in all of China -

I am just flat out chatty, because there is no way I could make any call and just ask one question.

As time goes by my heart aches for Grant - I would love to know every tiny detail about his life - I would even take one detail from the week - or month for that matter. When our coordinator realized how badly we wanted any additional information, she kindly offered to get a full update - we decided to wait until closer to travel.

Here is what we do know about Grant:
He smiles.

He loves sweets. He is a Perkins!

height 75.5 cm (29.7 inches), weight 9.2 kg (19 lbs) - I have no idea of his clothing size

He was sent to a foster family out of the orphanage when he was 11 months of age.

Nan Nan (his nickname) has four other foster siblings. He loves to play with them all. PERFECT~ how about one more to play with!

He can walk now, but he prefers to have one hand holding while walking. I get to be THAT person!

I cannot wait to know so much more about him!

Anyway, If you are new to China adoption process, I highly recommend you watch National Geographic's documentary called China's Lost Girls. It is very moving and does a great job discussing China's one child policy. Lisa Ling follows a family through the great adventure in China adopting their daughter. They are even from Atlanta! It will show you what the process will look like for us in China.

You can view this documentary for free on www.hulu.com. In the search box type China's Lost Girls and then chose the picture of Lisa Ling with a little Chinese girl labeled China's Lost Girls.

Just Enough Light

I do believe that any observer would have diagnosed me with ADD today. There is so much going on in this house! Besides packing to move, Olivia and Annabel are leaving this weekend for their two week summer camp. We washed clothes, packed boxes, collected camp supplies, folded clothes, cleaned up a large glass of spilled water from the kitchen, organized messy drawers, counted socks, went to buy more socks, measured the length on shorts, cleaned up after Amelia . . . you get the idea. At about 4:00 Skip called to tell me to check my emails because we had received Grant's update. I could not open the email fast enough. Oh what a wonderful surprise to see our precious boy! AND he has hair! It did make me very sad to see how much he had changed. He went from 8 teeth to 16, gained 3 lbs, and is walking. What a blessing he looks so happy! They also told us that his family fosters 4 other children and he loves playing with them- I think that is unusual for a family to foster so many children, but so perfect for Grant. We have been praying that God would prepare Grant's heart to enter into a large family. He has many siblings that cannot wait to love on him. Olivia, his older sister, keeps telling everyone that SHE will be the FIRST to hold him. He is such a loved child already even he though he is so far away.

Grant's eyes are so full of life - I am so anxious to see his sweet personality and how God has shaped him. Like each child, Grant will have such an important place in our family, uniquely gifted beyond anything Skip and I could ever nurture. One of my biggest prayers is that I will be able to look his foster mother in the eyes and thank her for loving and caring for our son.Grant Yinan at 20 months old, smiling for his mama!

This wonderful gift was followed thirty minutes later with a call from Skip telling me our rental house fell through. I am so sad that we will not be living next to my friend, but I am believing that there will be a place for us. God is always faithful.

Grant Yinan

Precious
Grant Yi Nan - 11 months old

On June 8th, 2009 our adoption agency sent us Grant's file and 6 other files of beautiful precious children. My heart was racing because I knew we had only a few minutes to lock a file as they were on the Shared List - many agencies have access to the Shared List and these files had just been put on it. I called Skip at work and we quickly discussed the files. Yi Nan's file and his big beautiful dark eyes especially stood out. We read over his special needs and all 9 pages of his file :). Fortunately, we have already studied his special need for the past 3 months - we have done extensive research and spoken to many families who have children with similar conditions. We decided we were very comfortable with his special needs. We quickly had our agency lock his file. Once the file was locked so no one else had access to it, we had 48 hours to have his file review by doctors. That night we kept looking at his picture, rereading his file and soon we fell in love with this precious boy and his amazing spirit, which was written about in his file! His beautiful big eyes and precious smile and tiny teeth captured our hearts. We remained in constant prayer and very as we continued to ask, :Could this be our son? After dinner I researched the meaning if his name on the Internet. I typed in Yi and it said, "Yi: second; as in second son." We had emailed his file to a specialist in Boston and that night at 11:30 P.M. we received his response! Skip sat down on the bed and pulled up the email and before I could get there -it took was seemed like forever to get around the pillows in order to sit next to Skip. He was going to read it without me! We read it together and it seemed like the world was put on hold - it really was surreal and so gosh darn exciting! We read it as fast as we could, read it again - WOW! his opinion about Grant's special need was truly something our family could handle. Peace, a peace that was so new to reviewing a file. We went to bed praying that we would like to submit a request to adopt him - and praying for God's wisdom and direction. It was very difficult to fall asleep! The next morning I turned to my assigned reading - June 9th in my book "read the Bible in a year" - Psalm 127. God is so good!! We wrote our Letter of Intent (LOI) and emailed our agency a LOI on behalf of Grant Yi Nan! Our second medical review came the next afternoon in full agreement with the first opinion. June 9th, 2009 we officially asked China if we could adopt Grant. Whew! that was quite a incredible 18 hours! God is so good!

It's a BOY! It's a BOY!

We are absolutely on on knees praising God for this indescribable gift! And that yet again He would bless us with one of His own!

Our son, Grant Yi Nan Perkins!11 months old

Grant is in the Sichuan province in the city of Chengdu. He is 19 months old. We received PA for Grant only 6 days after we wrote a letter of intent to adopt him (LOI)! Please pray for a smooth process from here on. We would love to be with Grant on his second birthday in October!

I will post more about how exciting the last two weeks have been. I am manning the fort alone right now - not a lot of leisure time!