Merry Christmas!

Clap your hands all you nations; shout to God with cries with joy.  

Psalm 47:1

Joy To The World

Blessings!

Sweet Sara, thoughts of you with your precious daughter have made this Christmas extra special!  Joy!!!  Sara and her husband are in China right now adopting their beautiful daughter, Mya -  Safe travel and Merry Merry Christmas!!!!!

Off to enjoy the holidays with these precious gifts!  See you next year.

Young Life Christmas Party 2009

Lovin the 80's

What a great Christmas party!  We decided to dress down a little this year, although  Skip was faithful to his Hawaiian Christmas shirt.  It has taken me years to get him to wear this shirt and now during the holidays, I can hardly get him to take it off.  A couple of people asked him if he was related to Rick Warren.  I am thrilled leggings are back in! - COMFORT!  Shoulder pads?  For the life of me I cannot remember where I put the pair with Velcro.  

Young Life Christmas Party 2008

Last year we/I went a little over dressed.  The girls were so excited about the dress, they insisted I wear a tiara.  I am so extremely uncomfortable going to parties and inevitably, I always have on the wrong thing.  The problem is I have all these little bodies (5 to be exact) in my bathroom and closet - they talk and talk and ask so many questions while I am trying to get dressed.  I usually change outfits at least 2 or three times before I am comfortable going out.  Then once I get settled, Skip will come and ask my opinion.  Poor guy, I am entirely too caught up in myself to dress him too.  Last year he had to wear this tie - gift from work? Greens a little off.

Anyway, I should plan ahead, try on all my clothes so I do not have to think about anything!  Oh once this last party is over I can concentrate on Christmas - Just need to plan and set out what to wear before hand!

Merry Christmas!

Filed I-800A Today

Celebration!

This is a big day for our us and our baby waiting in China.  The I-800A is a form  you have to file with immigration (USCIS) in order to adopt a baby internationally.  It is a 7 page form you have to fill out and with it you send in your completed home study and proof of citizenship.  So, in short, we are also celebrating the COMPLETION of our home study!  All of our papers are gathered and ready for a few more stamps of approval!  

In a few weeks  we will receive a letter from the USCIS telling us they received our I-800A and when we can go to the FBI building to get fingerprinted.   We do not expect to have approval from USCIS until around March.  In the meantime, we will take a few trips to the big city to visit the Secretary of State's office and get fingerprinted.  I LOVE visiting the big city!   Please pray with us as our agency looks for our baby on the special needs list.  

Thank You!

Out Of The Mouths of Babes

My children have kept me smiling the last few weeks leading up to the Christmas Frenzy!  The drama between the older girls is somedays too much for all of us.

Me:  Kids, I am sorry we have to take down the tree.  It is making me really sick (I had a horrible reaction to our fresh pine tree.   I was so allergic that one afternoon I thought my throat was going to close.) 

Annabel:   Well, I really wish we could keep the tree, it's my favorite.  Can't you just be sick? (Annabel is such a sweet child, so her saying that was so funny.  You could see her wheels spinning - Tree or Mama/ Tree or Mama?)   

Me:  Do you enjoy me acting crazy? (which is how I behave when I am sick)

The fully decorated tree did come down - so sad!

Olivia:  Mama I know the rule is Santa will not bring live animals.  I just knooowww he will make this oonnne exception, so that is allll I am asking for.  Well . . ., I did add one more thing to the list if he cannot bring me a PHILLY.  I really think I would like a Husky puppy.

Annabel's advice to Grace:  (Anna) Just ask him (Santa) for the DS, that way it's free.  That's why I am asking him for an IPOD.  Isn't it free Mama if it comes from Santa?

Grace:  Mama, is that whole spending the night thing your rule or the police's rule?  (they have to be 8 years old to spend the night out)

Grace:  Mama, how did I get out of your tummy?  Did you do all that tummy cutting thing because I am not going to do that!  (I do not know where that came from!?)

Grace:  Mama, Ms. Elizabeth, from Three Channels, ran every red light today.  It was a fun contest!  It was just like you do.  Edward had to go to the bathroom and she was really in a hurry.  (Come to find out all the lights they hit were green. - Green or red - it's all the same to her.  Skip happened to be in the car for this conversation.  He wasn't surprised by my driving, but for Elizabeth that would be really unusual.)

Annabel:  So Mama, if Santa is real then why did he forget to put something in Bailey's stocking?  (Bailey is our dog, lowest on the stocking chain. She didn't know how lucky she was to get something in her stocking after such a big move.)

Quinn: (MY SON who is such a boy)  Mama, will I ever turn into a girl?  

Me: Praise Jesus, No son!

Off to wrap presents!

It's A Fancy Date!

Skip and I got to dress up last night for a black tie debutant celebration to honor our niece, Caroline.   It has been at least three years since we dressed up! and three years since I have purchased pantyhose!  They now have the most wonderful slips with Lycra and after 5 babies that is not a want but rather a need.  As I was getting ready, the children kept running into our room absolutely amazed at the transformation from MAMMA to "Princess."   I asked Grace if by chance I could be a queen.  Her reply, " No mamma, you have to be a princess because a queen's hair looks like this (she grabbed two bunches of her hair and had it sticking up) and mamma, your hair looks sooo good.   The older two girls tilted their heads as they looked at me and said almost in the form of a question, "You look so pretty?  I like your dress."  The baby just cried, she could not hide her confusion and shock.

The evening was so much fun!  I had the most handsome date in the room!  The theme for the night was Winter Wonderland and everything was beautiful - especially Caroline.  The room was filled frosted window panes, artificial snow, and white lights.  I loved looking at all the beautiful cocktail dresses worn by the college age girls.  Skip and I stood back and discussed how years ago black tie occasions were much more common, we were actually a little sad that it had been so long since we dressed up.  Don't get me wrong, we really like being a part of the more informal generation,  there is just something nice about a fancy date.

We are so amazed at how quickly time passes.  Caroline was a flower girl in our wedding - she was only 9 years old.  As she transitions to adulthood we are thrilled to see His plan unfold in this new chapter of her life. 

The Eve of Thanksgiving

THE CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!

And a little cookie decorating

Yum!

Amelia was having the best time with all the candy and frosting!  

By the end these two had chocolate frosting from ear to ear. It was so funny to watch how Grace would delicately place each piece of candy with just the right amount of frosting and Quinn, he was just going to get the job done! 

So much fun!    We had the best time  - CONTAINED CHAOS!

Thankful By Annabel

I am thankful for:

having a fun family;

having a cute dog;

having a sweet mommy and daddy;

having great sisters;

having enough money for things;

having a big house to live in; 

going to church and not having to go to jail because we are at church.

Last week the older girls and I went to hear a friend of ours talk about her mission trip to India. She gave an incredible presentation with a lot of pictures.  She shared so much about how difficult life is for the people of India.  What really stuck with us was the many many  orphans, how people live in tents that get washed away by rains,  and the tragic persecution for Christians.   I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like had I understood what Annabel does at such a young age.  

Indians at the Preschool Thanksgiving Program

Can I take that?

Sure Meil, let me help you my little Indian Princess.

Where's Mama ?  Daddy, I cannot see her!

Swing me Daddy!

Are you bored Amelia?  Hungry?

The older girls and I arrived right on time to the Thanksgiving program.  Amelia and Quinn were more than ready to perform.  As I blended in with the sea of other parents in the small fellowship hall, pride was getting the best of me.  Quinn, while everyone was singing, was yelling, "Daddy, where is she?"  As you can see Skip was fortunate enough to also be center stage.  He kept saying, "Buddy, she is right there."  "Where Daddy?"  This went on for the duration of a very cute song that I know he could sing quite confidently.  In the meantime, Amelia decides she would do a little performance herself.  

We then proceeded to the wonderful Thanksgiving buffet in the small fellowship hall.  I have a difficult time in buffets with 5 children and we really do not eat out a lot -  Containing the chaos at home is much more enjoyable.  I am finding, especially after today, that we really need to expose the children a bit more to the art of fine dinning.  Today, we ate like Indians at the first Thanksgiving - that is not a good thing.

Grace decided she did not want to eat her corn, so she graciously scooped them up WITH HER HANDS and gently placed them on my plate with my corn.

Quinn, devoured his cookie - FIRST THING. He had chocolate all over his face!  His sweet friend Charlie sitting across the table was having to listen to his mother say, "No Charlie, we eat our dessert last."

Amelia dumped her plate over onto the plastic table cloth - then her drink.

Annabel feared a shortage of cookies so she kept leaving the table to stock up, never mind the line was still full of people waiting to eat.

I really felt happy for the sweet mother sitting in front of me.  It had to have been a proud parenting moment for her.  Her children behaved so mannerly.  I hope she praised them on the way home.   You will never guess what we discussed on the way home!

We really do need to work on our table manners.  Dinner at home is usually fun because Daddy is home.  It is loud and FULL of conversation - I cannot stand chaos, so we are able to hold that to a minimum.  I am not sure where to begin with this parenting project.  The older girls do well, but need improvement.

To give the children a chance to be greatly praised, I decided to run into the local PACKED with Thanksgiving shoppers grocery store.  I NEVER take all five into a store unless I really need something and no one is available to help me.

THEY DID GREAT!!!!

Tagged, So Here I Go!

1.Link the person who tagged me and list the rules.

  

I was tagged by The Duchess of Lanier waiting for Lady L.   We met on our adoption group forum and wow she has been a wealth of information, encouragement and support.

2. Share 7 weird and Random Facts About Myself - Here Goes

* In my home I cannot clearly think unless the house is organized.  My friends and I have decided I have a sensory processing disorder - or I am very ADD and I have to remove all distraction. Interesting I have 5 children and one one the way!

*  I never finish a cup of coffee in the morning.  I start drinking coffee about 6:00 AM and REHEAT the same cup over and over until finally I forget it that one last time and leave it in the microwave.  Why don't I get a fresh cup?????  Great question.

* My two favorite foods together are orange juice and pringles.

* Sometimes when I am scared or on the verge of tears - I begin to laugh.  I have no control over that particular emotion at that particular time.   It is truly the strangest response and I really feel bad about it.  One night, my husband sprained his ankle so badly.   He had gone out to the street to move his car into the driveway and twisted his foot as he stepped down off the curb.  He had to practically drag himself into the house on his stomach.  When I saw him rolling on the foyer floor, he had sweat dripping down his face.  As he was rolling around on the floor I could tell he was in  pain.  He claims he was on the verge of passing out.  I do not know what hit me but I started to laugh and LAUGHED!  STRANGE!!!  My daughter, Olivia, came to me one time and her eyes were full of tears (she is not short of tears) and she had such a big lump in her throat she couldn't talk.  I could feel the same lump welling up in my throat - so what do I do to avoid tears?  I uncontrollabley started to giggle!!!! She was upset because our sitter's dog was sick. SUCH A BAD MOTHER! - I think I have passed this trait down to my oldest daughter.

* It is very difficult for me to go into a store and only buy what is on my list.  I also have a difficult time sticking to buying the one thing I am looking for.   Target is a very bad place for me to go!

*  I am neurotic about nap time.  My children take naps everyday until they go off to kindergarten.  And now that I home school, I am thinking about streaching it to age 8!

* I asked Skip to help me come up with some quirky things about me.  The list could go on and on, however, I was interested in what he had to say.  When I asked,  he looked frightened wondering if I was trying to set him up!  How sad is that.  I promised him I would hold nothing against him.  He reminded me that I like to fall asleep on my back with my glasses on.   He waits until I am asleep, walks over to my side of the bed, takes off my glasses, sets them on my night stand (so gosh darn considerate - YES this is the same man I laughed at when he was in pain!) and then he crawls back into bed.

3. Tag  7 random people at the end of the post and notify them on their blogs.

To my sweet friends!  You have been tagged!

Conner Coles Mom

Football and Fried Rice 

Mom's Ministry and More

Primrose Princessess

Signs of Hope

The Domestic Fringe

Three Channels

4. Notify - Done

Great Desires

Beach 2008

I feel like we have crossed a finish line.  Back in June when we (mostly I) decided to adopt, I began to gather all the documents for the dossier.  But, for various reasons, the timing wasn't right at that time to completely dive in, so we decided to do everything we could without "officially" starting.  I couldn't wait to start the homestudy and I would dream about what it would be like to "really" start.  Well, it feels GREAT!!!! I feel like I am living in a dream.  Everyone was right, the home study wasn't as difficult as I imagined - we did have a great social worker.  It all went so smoothly and I am thrilled to almost be filing our immigration papers, a 100 or so day process.  All of our dossier papers have been gathered - only lacking some local review from two different government officials! - there is always just one more step around the corner!  

GRAND NEWS!!!!!

Any of you who have followed this blog know that we have sponsored a beautiful little girl in China named Faith (that is her "western name").   We have decided to try and adopt her!!  If you have read any of our previous posts, it shouldn't surprise you that we are pursuing adoption, what is new is the attempt to specifically pursue the adoption of Faith.  We have been told it will be next to impossible to match with a specific child like this due to the regulations and processes in China; however, we serve a mighty God!  We continue to open our hearts and eyes to His will and approach the throne confidently knowing His ultimate plan is divine.  

What is possibly most exciting about this is the unity in our family over this decision.  Keep in mind, Skip was not originally on board with adoption in general.  Even when he finally agreed, I worried that he was only doing it for me. But, he loves Faith and God really moved in his heart to pursue her adoption!  In fact, during a time of prayer together, Skip helped me realize just how deeply I wanted to pursue it.  You see, for the longest time, I kept this desire to adopt Faith stuffed deep down in my heart.  I knew that it was nearly impossible to get her, and I was afraid of how I would feel if we tried to adopt her and didn't get her-the rejection I would feel from God.   I was unable to pray about it and really wanted to pretend the desire was not there.  Everyone else in the family, however, was more open with their own desires.  The children would periodically say things like "Faith is going to be our sister," and Skip would say things like "God put Faith in our life for a reason, I think we are going to be able to adopt HER."  When they would say things like that I would get so mad... and sad.  I was so fearful of God not answering my prayer to get Faith that I couldn't ask, and I was afraid for anyone else to ask either.  But, one weekend I had an amazing revelation about our relationship with God.  This particular morning I woke up and Faith was really on my heart.   It was a day I had to focus on a lot of other things, but I kept praying for her and her forever family and she would not leave my mind.  I sat down to journal and pray. As I started, I began writing to God all the reasons I wanted her to be my daughter;  I want to rock her to sleep, read books to her, I want to love her and hold her and comfort her, teach her about Jesus, make sure she is always fed and warm . . .   I went on and on.  Two pages into it I was crying really hard.  I had pinned up all these desires in my heart - thinking I could keep them from Him. I was also terrified to ask Him, because at the time my flesh was not wanting to risk him saying no. (I guess I was helping him by not allowing him to disappoint me??  Like He didn't already know my heart.)  A few minutes after I finished writing and stopped crying, I read over what I had written and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks, I realized something my head has always known, but my heart could never comprehend.  I realized He desires me/us to be his sons and daughters even more deeply than I desire Faith.  His journals are much more elaborate!  He is coming after us with an even greater passion than we can imagine and it is so He can love us, comfort us, feed us, shelter us, teach us, guide us, laugh and cry with us, so that we will never again be orphans.  I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade creation just for you.  Isaiah 43:4 How could I not trust God?  His plans are perfect!  After this revelation and some prayer, I knew that it would be ok to pursue Faith.  Skip even took the lead!!  The following Monday morning he emailed our agency and started the process to try to get Faith. Since then, he has continued to lead the pursuit.  Praise God! Before, I doubted if he was really on board or if he was just doing it for me.  With this, I have no question.  Another praise in all of this... We still understand that we may not get Faith, but we are ok with that.  It simply may not be God's plan, but maybe it is.  Either way, whatever He has in store for us, it will be amazing and wonderful. 

BUSY!

The last two weeks have been one big party with the Sparkling Gems!  Trip to Orlando/Disney to see my family, two birthdays and then . . . the last home study tonight.  Whew!  And it is not over, we have one more birthday celebration on Saturday!  That makes three birthdays within 5 days on the heels of Halloween.  I feel like we are all on the Mad Hatter Tea Cup ride spinning around slowly then fast, faster, pause, spinning again.  I am always so thankful for the pauses.  

Quinn, Grace and I actually rode the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney.  It was the perfect ride late in the afternoon because the line was short.  At that point, Grace and Quinn were suffering from sensory overload which was displayed by fighting over who was first in the line, wallowing on the concrete and hanging and rubbing their faces all over the hand rails.  At one point to prove he was first Quinn inched up as close as he could get to the man standing in front of him.  This positioned him with his face in the man's hinney!!!!  UGGGHHHHHHH.   Yuck!  Yuck!!  Only to enter into any ride and fight over Grace wanting the pink one and Quinn wanting to ride the blue one.

I would like to say they were in rare form, but that is not the truth.  This is how my children react to being un-napped and over stimulated.  Tell me the secret behind all the other good line standers. 

I love schedules and nap time - I need schedules and nap times.  I should say that we had a wonderful time.  Despite being un-napped and over stimulated, they were absolutely wonderful.  There is nothing quite as amazing as a child's face when the monorail comes around the corner and they see the Magic Kingdom.  The smile plants on their face and doesn't leave until sometime the next day-even though they generally pass out on the drive back to their grandparent's house (which is about 5 miles from Disney).  It's funny... I think my husband gets the same look on his face when we get there, and I question whether he or the kids have more fun!  Its almost harder to get him to leave than the kids.  He rides the rides with them, and I think he understands exactly what THEY want to do because HE wants to do it too.  

Were Throwing A Party . . . Together!

We live in a very trick-or-treatable neighborhood.  This year our annual Halloween party had a slight glitch - the usual host had something else to do - which meant it was all up to me to carry on the tradition.  I had known this for months! It took another neighborhood friend to remind me I needed to get the ball rolling.  For a party thrown together last minute, it came off without a hitch.  We had soo much fun!  It was the most beautiful fall night!

Our Usual Christmas Card Picture (not this year friends!)

For years, we have used our Halloween family picture on our Christmas Cards.  Other than four times when we decided to send a dual purpose Christmas card/Birth Announcement, this has been our tradition.  In case you are curious, it started as an accident. We wasted several roles of film trying to get a great picture of us all decked out for Christmas.  None of them worked and out of utter desperation, I searched for a great family photo.  We had a good one from Halloween and, voila, a tradition was born.  After thinking about it last year, it occurred to us that perhaps it is unusual to send a picture of our Halloween Celebration to wish our friends and family a Merry Christmas!  This revelation was sparked when a couple of friends started asking questions about it.  As a mother, this holiday is this most fun - I love candy, children, junk food and fall!  I have created a lot of "stuff" to go along with the other holidays like are they going to like the gift, is everyone going to get along at Thanksgiving, what clothes will the children wear for the egg hunt . . . 

In our family, this holiday is about children, playing dress-up, dear friends, and celebrating fall. I just love it!!!   I do have just one wish and that is that our newest addition will be featured in next year's photo!

The Celebration

The Boys!

The Girls!

The Boys and the Girls!

Such a Creative Treat - Thanks ALH!

Olivia - The Snow Princess in her Bike Drawn Carriage - Peddled by a true Prince!

Please Pray

Please pray for this precious child.   The Philip Hayden Journal.

Six-year-old Hayden Sun Yuanyuan is always quick to pull guests down to sit next to her and chat, and it’s usually more sweet command than gentle request.  Though here just a short time–she moved to House of Love in July–she’s quickly captured our hearts.  Hayden has a large tumor on her cheek, which has grown significantly in the last few months, and tomorrow she heads to a surgery team in Hefei with Dr. Moody.  U.S. Surgeon Dr. Lisa Buckmiller will meet them there to help remove the tumor from Hayden’s face.  This is a very delicate surgery, as the mass is attached to the nerves in her cheek, and we ask for your prayers in guiding the surgeons & giving Hayden peace.  We know she has a long healing journey ahead of her, and we can’t wait to see her back home. We lift her up to Jehovah Rapha–our God who Heals.

THE PUMPKIN PATCH!

Olivia

Grace

Blessings!

Amelia

Quinn

Annabel & Amelia

I have a few friends who are waiting to meet their first daughters.   Girls, I cannot wait for your hearts to capture a moment like this!

The Love Between A Daddy and A Daughter!

And that goes to you too Dad - I love you, Ashley

Fall Festival

The annual Mother's Morning Out Fall Festival was on Thursday.  Quinn and Amelia would agree it was a fun filled sugar high day!  They had so much fun dressing up in their costumes and collecting treats. 

Annabel Helping at The Fishing Booth

Pirate Quinn Digging For A Treasure

Lunch!

Just My Size

Lesson Learned #1

It is 5:55 p.m.  I am expecting the social worker for home study visit #2 at 6:30 p.m.!   Today was the "walk through" so the house was very clean.  Surly I can fit dinner in.  Do I have a choice? Running a few minutes behind,  I calmly pull our individual pizzas out of the oven on the foil lined cookie sheet.  The pan tips as I close the oven door and our dinner slides off lands face down on the immaculate floors!  SPLAT!  

Lesson learned: Lining a cookie sheet with foil in order to save time washing dishes is a bad idea!

Wordless Wednesday

Moving Day

Latin, Greek, and SAT's

A conversation between an 8 year old and a 10 year old.

(Overheard and interrupted by Mom)

Olivia: What is an SAT?   It says Latin and Greek will help my SAT score.  

Annabel: it spells sat . . . you know!  (doncha know anything?) 

Mom: No, Annabel it is S-A-T, it is a test you take to get into college.  

Annabel: "College, that is what you have to do if you want one of those careers." 

I had to leave the room because of my laughter.  My mind then began racing at the statement ONE OF THOSE CAREERS.  I assume, and am in fact quite sure, that my career as a mother did not fit into her equation of college=careers.  This led me to further poorly process (at 4:00 p.m. after a long day of home schooling, mopping floors, dusting, laundry, carpooling . . .) that you can take the SAT 3 times, graduate from college, do some post graduate work, get certified in a couple of professions and then become a mother - which is, as I mentioned before, probably not one of those "careers" in Annabel's eyes.  However, as a mother I am so grateful for ALL the education I have because I spend countless hours putting my knowledge to work, brainstorming and trying figuring out things like:  How can I teach my children to flush the toilet, use toilet paper!, use their own toothbrush ... NOT just any toothbrush, bathing is good, you should use soap when you bathe, if you brush your hair every day it will not be as difficult to brush, when you go outside, shut the door!  The list could go on and on and I assure you if I had my Doctorate in Child Behavior I still would struggle with the same unresolved issues. Motherhood is truly a challenge and I am one of those girls who, as my husband says, delights in a challenge - though he does not always delight in the same challenges I do!  I do LOVE being a mother!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Assigned a Social Worker!

Olivia - Yellowstone National Park Summer 2006

Whew!  The last time we were assigned a social worker was not for an adoption.  Yes, our hidden past.  Olivia was 5 months old and she had what I thought was  a horrible case of some kind of pneumonia.  It is important to know that Olivia was our first child and my absolute focus.  I was determined to be the BEST mother in the world - I was a perfectionist.  Anyway, Olivia had a horrible coughing fit and threw up.  I hit panic mode!  It was a Friday night and we called the pediatrician.  He suggested we sit in the bathroom with a hot shower running.  Oh no, that certainly could not be the cure, we needed to see a doctor and we needed to see one now.  Why couldn't he make a home visit?  Against my husbands better wishes we were headed to the ER to see what this baby was suffering from. Our experience at the ER was quite similar to my friend Elizabeth's  experience - 'No Mother' in the ER post.  We were scared! We saw the nurse and she checked Olivia's vital signs: no fever, no signs of a cough, clear lungs and then back to the waiting room.  After two hours in the waiting room I said no more of this!  We are leaving, I cannot believe they would not see a BABY! (so terrible of me! b/c there were some sick people!)  We walked out, it was around 12:00 a.m.  Olivia was fine and I really do not think that we ever had her check that week.  Anyway, two months later we got a letter from our states Child Welfare Services!  The ER reported us for refusing medical treatment for our minor! DFAX as my friends and I call it!  This letter solidified my belief that I was going to fail as a parent and I did not have what it took.  Luckily at the time Skip was working for a very old and established firm in a very small town and he was able to fire off a very impressive letter on their letterhead thus warding off a visit from our assigned social worker.

I am not sure what this visit is going to look like.  Fortunately for the sanity family, I have changed through Christ, however, I still fight the same feelings.  Every time I think about this journey to bring baby 6 home I fight feelings of many different fears , unworthiness, and the desire to be perfect.  Yesterday our adoption social worker contacted us for the first time, she left a message on my cell phone about scheduling our first visit!  When I heard the message my heart was filled with joy and then suddenly it was filled with a sense of panic because I will not be able to pull it all together for the first visit.  And then I had the sudden realization which brings peace some days discouragement others and that is; I will never have it all together and it is okay because He will!   He has it covered! He is constantly reminding me that there is nothing I need to do except for believe.   I delight in knowing He has all of it covered and His interest in my children is much greater than mine and more than I can ever imagine.  I need to go return the call.

Somewhat off the subject I am wrestling with two things: 1) Matthew 18:18 on forgiveness.  Has anyone done a Bible Study or research on this verse?  Any insight or wisdom?  and 2) The secret to making a good moist Pound Cake.

Blessings and Much Love!

Wordless Wednesday

My son, Quinn, one of four girls!

Goo Gone Or Gum Gone

How do you suppose I remove this highly combustible chemical from the dryer?

I must say Vanilla Mint Trident mixed with the heat of the dryer and a load of dark clothes gives off a wonderful scent!

Seven Reasons Not To Worry

Yesterday I had to go to our bank to get some documents notarized. I normally drive through bank so I have never had the opportunity to see or experience the inside of a bank.  It was so beautiful and the chairs in the waiting room were very comfortable while I waited.   I was greeted with a friendly smile, not by name, which was more than fine with me.  However, everyone who walked into the bank was greeted by name - it was such a sweet small town feel.  There was a young late 20 something employee who looked in charge he floating around to all  5 customers who filed into the bank around noon.  Because the bank was small and I had nothing to do but sit, I could not but help overhear this older man.  While he was standing at the teller window he was greeted by this young banker who asked in an uplifting tone, "So how's it going Mr. ______?"  Mr.  ________ replied, "Not so great I just lost all my retirement.  Now planning to work for the rest of my life."  Sad, sad, sad! I also felt so bad for this banker who kept saying, "I am sorry."  What else could he have said?

America is in trouble and it is difficult and uncertain and people are in the fight for their financial lives.  I am so sad and every day I ask Skip, what do we need to do?  We have gone over and over our budget the last two months trying to see where we can "cut back".  The company Skip works for just announced they were going to fire 650 employees.  We are so blessed that we are not one of the 650, however, about 300 are going to be from our community and most likely friends.  We live in a town that is not unique to the rest of the US -  houses are not selling and the big companies have freeze on hiring.   With all of this it is very easy for me to get caught up in what I can see.

Anyway, this morning I opened my Bible to Matthew 6  and read : 

Seven Reasons To Not Worry

The same God who created life in you can be trusted with the details of your life. (Matt 6:25)

Worrying about the future hampers your efforts for today. (Matt 6:26)

Worrying is more harmful than helpful. (Matt 6:27)

God does not ignore those who depend on him. (Matt 6:28-30)

Worry shows a lack of faith in and understanding of God. (Matt 6:33)

There are real challenges God wants us to pursue, and worrying keeps us from them. (Matt 6:33)

Living one day at a time keeps us from being consumed with worry. (Matt 6:34)

He has it under control.

Crazy About Horses!

She would live in a barn if we would let her!  Olivia asks, "Mama, do you think I could horse jump in the Olympics one  day?"

"I believe in you and your dreams."

Love!!

Lots of Passion and Little Mercy

In February my sweet sweet husband was able to go on a GRAND trip out to Colorado to attend John Eldridge's "Boot Camp".  Skip has never taken a luxury trip our entire marriage!  I was so excited for him to go and I just knew he would come back closer than ever to God.  Well, the trip exceed our expectations and  Skip had a wonderful time with God and his friends.  It was so great that he came home and announced that he wanted to know my passion in life so he could help accomplish it!  Wow!  he wants to rescue his bride!!  Skip has the kindest heart I have ever seen in anyone.

I was a little surprised by his enthusiasm for something so crazy, after all I had everything I could want, except for curtains in my bedroom and a Eletrolux Bread Mixer - all in due time.  I even thought he may be a little disappointed in these two passions so I thought about something much bigger like a Saturday car or even better a big diamond ring. Wouldn't that be nice?   Diamonds are beautiful crusted in Desitin -  my not by choice hand lotion.  Anyway, I did tell him I would commit to prayer and really go after my true passion in life.

Well, a couple of weeks went by and all of a sudden my passion hit me with a ton of bricks!  It was none of the above mentioned and I was on fire!  I thought it would be a great idea to announce it on a date at one of our towns 5 star chain restaurants.  We sat down in a booth and I was giddy, excited, thinking I looked really cute.  I could not wait to tell him my new discovery, hidden deep in my heart that God so graciously revealed to me at the request of him, my precious precious husband. 

"Well Skip, I am so excited and I am so glad you went to Wild at Heart.  I have prayed and prayed and I feel alive and happy and oh I cannot wait for you to hear this! I just want you to know that my true true passion in life is to adopt a Special Needs baby - and I really hope it is from China."  Skip was not gazing at me from across the table like I was cute.  His eyes were wider, head tilted slightly, he wasn't smiling, he looked a bit confused and there was a long pause.  SO I continued this time saying, "Isn't God amazing and so good.   I cannot wait for this new journey he is about to take us on - can you believe it?  Skip aren't you fired up by the idea of being parents to 6 children!  We are going to be SOOO blessed with another baby!!!!"  Yall, he never joined the excitement!!  He sat there so confused and said, "What?  What are you talking about?"  I reminded him of the whole speech about me finding my passion.  His response, "No, that is not what I meant, you will have to pick another passion, I was thinking about something fun like moving to Colorado.  I mean umm I am just going to have to think about that one."

Skip has probably told me no three times throughout our 12 years together - usually he will at least say, "let's talk about it."  No such words came out of  his mouth this time.  

"Oh my" was my next response.   I sat at the table and cried and cried and cried  - He was ruining the first entry in our new baby's book!  This is not how I had the night played out in my mind.  I just knew it was going to be this beautiful story about how I told Skip and he gazed at me from across the table and said that is exactly what he had always wanted too . . .  Every adoption blog I had read was much sweeter than this night was going.

I was so mad! How dare he ask me to find my passion and then say NO pick another one!  As the tears came and he began to explain, "I just want one year of nothing, no babies, tornado, moves, job changes, cranial helmets, ADD testing . . . I really do not know if I want any more children.  Did you say special needs?"  Ill have to say, I just do not think that is where I am."  I really do not remember what I said after that but I promise you it was not kind.

Our poor poor waiter!  I was crying big tears, mascara and all!  It is only now that I can look back and also feel so sad for not giving Skip any mercy.  It was all huge shock, after all, it took me a long time to settle into the whole idea.

Well, since that time the journey has been difficult and very sweet.  Anytime Skip and I are not united on an issue it is HARD!!  At first we went through months of being on our faces before God - really seeking what he wanted. (extremely difficult for my selfish heart)   At one point we went to church 3 time in a row and heard something about orphans, adoption, China or "His Story" for our lives.  It got to the point it became very comical.  God slowly changed Skip's heart and in the process has revealed some not so beautiful things in my heart.  I always hear, "enjoy the journey."  I must say I do not always enjoy the journey when I am DEEP in it.  The journey is the most beautiful to me when I am close to the peak or at least where my head is above water.   I will say that I love what God is able to accomplish during a journey - when I can set aside my pride and surrender control - when I am not picking crumbs up from under the table - thank you for your wisdom and great insight Heidi!

So where are we with the adoption?  We had a great plan, mapped it out with timelines and recently discovered that our journey to adopt has much more to do with our relationship with Him than it does with the great blessing at the end, the child.  So we have thrown out our plan and are seeking His. Let me just say that after we reach that peak and we are headed down the mountain and almost at the end about to meet that precious baby - oh the tears and joy and I will be running!   My heart is so excited I can hardly stand it!