December Post

What a blessed holiday season! and oh what a needed break from home schooling. I really trailed off after Thanksgiving and most of my efforts were focused on getting Christmas organized. Although I finished shopping December 1st, I was still wrapping presents and searching for gifts in closets on Christmas Eve. I keep saying that one year I will make it simple, just not this year.

We celebrated having Grant home one year this month - I wanted to be in China again (never thought I would ever say that last December). Not an easy trip, but worth every single tear and bit of physical and emotional exhaustion. Grant continues to progress, he is now saying 3 word phrases, attempting potty train and can take off his clothes and dress himself. We were very proud that he decided to quit biting and was not asked to leave preschool (we were very close). We did start with a new speech pathologist - I believe this will be a big year of development for Grant and I think he will catch-up. I do not know when to push him or when to just wait. This lack of discernment easily leads to a battle of the wills - never pretty between a 3 year old and a 40 year old!

As I reflect on the past year I cannot believe the heart work God was able to do on me during such a trying and busy time. The work is not complete by any means, but I have learned so much about how to love despite what I receive . . . uggh it is a journey and I never realized until this year how shallow my ability to love has been. An incredible woman in our church has a Bible study in her home called the Love Walk. Her first lessons were on the different types of love and how our nature plays into to them. She then began a 4 week session on forgiveness - and then will dive into pride after the Christmas break. This Bible study has opened many opportunities for some real yuck in my thinking/heart to be exposed and healed.

End of Summer

It looks like I am only able to post at the beginning and end of a season.

I was sorry to see summer come to an end and I did not finish ALL that I intended to finish. It will all get done.

One of the most exciting parts of summer has been watching Grant grow and adjust even more. He is amazing! and precious and such a ball full of joy and excitement. I cannot imagine our lives without him. I cannot believe God chose me to be his mother. I love him so very much.

Recently, I received the translation of his Half the Sky report. This report begins when Grant arrived at the orphanage at 3 months old. His Half The Sky nanny wrote in the journal monthly and sometimes weekly. She was very honest and surprisingly open about Grant and her feelings towards him. It breaks my heart to read. Grant was a very sick baby and arrived at orphanage very underweight and hungry. He had reflux and refused to eat. She writes about how his face first thing in the morning lacked emotion and how he cried and cried. There were places that seemed as though she was praying by saying, "What am I to do, he needs so much and he is one of 20 children I have to take care of." He was very slow to grow and it took a lot of experimenting for her to figure out a way to feed him.

I will never forget an email I received from New Day asking for prayer for Forest. It was after Christmas and Forest had been placed back in his orphanage. The orphanage contacted New Day after a few weeks and told them Forest had lost his will to live and was no longer eating. Forest soon returned to New Day and as long as I live the picture of his emaciated little body will always remain in my mind. Little did I know that at that time, as we prayed fervently for little Forest, our son was also fighting for his life.

I will always be so very grateful for this angel in Grant's life. I believe her daily touch and smile, her tenderness and occasional candy, gave Grant hope to endure the difficult times. Thank you Lord for bringing him home.

Summer Kick-Off

Tomorrow is the last day of school! I am so excited for the GO GO GO to come to an end and for the lazy days of summer to begin. I always have grand visions heading into summer: organizing, reviewing all my home schooling curriculum, chore charts . . . The children also have their vision of a wonderful summer: trips to Brewsters, daily swimming, endless TV and computer, snacking, unmade beds . . . I so wish I was the Mama that shared their same vision - hoping to meet somewhere in the middle.

I do feel like during the summer I get more quality time with God. My quite time in the morning seems to last longer. I recently listened to a Beth Moore simulcast called Psalms 126 Reaping Sheaves of Joy - it was so timely and wonderful. She begins by talking about seasons in your life when you suddenly realize you have drifted away from God. I believe I am coming back from one of those times. So much of it has to do with business and what I have chose to spend my time on. I am so thankful our Father stands with open arms knowing we are coming back. How precious He is to welcome us back every single time. He is beginning to open my eyes to the harvest and I just love every moment of the discovery. I want so badly to constantly be active in the harvest and more than that I want to understand where I am to harvest with Him along side of me. It is very easy for me to look over here and there and jump into something that is anointed by Him and beautiful and rich BUT not where I have been called to be- I can so easily become passionate about His work and unfortunately that takes away from where I am needed the most. I am seeing that with 6 children my call has become less and less outside the home. Many days I have a hard time facing the enormous issues we can have at any given time - I'd much rather go on over to someone's field - I am unattached there. I consistantly surrender my walls of protection and selfish ambition which does bring so much peace. Knowing He is doing the laboring as long as I am depending upon Him and not what I can do. I am such a "people person" and what I understanding is my people are under this roof. I cannot predict what the balance will look like and I am sure I have a lot more of my agenda to surrender, but God is always good and full of adventure!
It is going to be a great summer.

Exhaling!

Two & Cute!

The month of May is tremendously busy! Wow - end of the year everything! We move from preschool to school to dog trainer to speech therapy to OT playgroup to soccer games and then to ballet. . Dr appointments, board celebrations, graduations. It seems as though nothing slows down and I am so exhausted and missing my friends. I am looking forward to the end of May when we can come back together as a family and enjoy each other and really enjoy time with friends!

I am very thankful for a large family, but months like May make it seem like we have 20 children! We are adjusting to some better routines and by force I am becoming more organized - still have a long way to go.

Olivia is finishing up the 5th grade - WHOOOA. We are so very proud of her and the light she has been to her school!

Annabel is finished with 4th grade home schooling and we have learned so much together - the highlight of her year was finally getting her soon to be big dog, Pilot. She has done so well training her!

Grace is becoming such a talented ballerina and quite a soccer star. She is almost finished with kindergarten and can read more than we would like for her to read :). The tooth fairy came for her sister Annabel this week and for some reason the tooth fairy was a little low on cash so she left a note and accidentally signed it: Love, The Easter Bunny (Opps!)
That was a bit confusing for a 6 year old -

Quinn has done great in K-4 and loves his little school and teachers. He has played Co-ed soccer this year - I am so proud of how he treats the little girls on the opposing teams. He will not steal the ball nor will he even approach them if they have it - how do you encourage anything different? AND he has his younger sister Amelia always reminding him that "it is ladies first!" in a not so kind voice at times.

Ameila has finished K-3 and talks to anyone she sees about dogs. She wants to know if you have a dog, if your dog goes POO POO! What your dogs name is (and she will let you know if it is a good name or not!) - There are only so many pre-discussions you can have to avoid absolute embarrassment. You never know what she is going to say - she has more opportunity for correction than any of the children - We have many talks together.

Grant continues to amaze us. He has gone through some times recently where I have had to leave to room in order to not scream. He is really been testing boundaries - he is a two year old and I do not know how I forget that some days. His newest trick is to dump his milk behind his highchair in the morning. His speech teacher has insisted I give him an open cup to exercise his mouth muscles - We are going to make it through this! He did have to have all 4 front teeth pulled because of infection. It was an emergency situation and the dentist had to do it asap. It was very difficult because he only had gas and shots to easy the trauma and pain. He did GREAT and by 6pm he was jumping around. I think his little mouth feels so much better - the little nerves on 3 of the teeth were exposed. He is also eating a lot more - Praises! Any day I anticipate his speech taking off - he is really working hard and so very determined. OH and we are not biting anymore!!! That is a very big hurdle - Everyone who meets Grant is so amazed by the joy in his little spirit - he is a delight! It has been very interesting to watch the attachment process - it is coming and he knows we are something more than passing people in his life. He also allows himself to receive the love from a hug - and sighs with enjoyment! Precious!

Oh, I almost forgot to mention! I turned 40! It was the best birthday -Ever! Skip surprised me with a dinner party with friends - Elizabeth who recently moved to TN even came! It was grand! and too boot he gave me a 12 passenger VAN! - WHITE! It is the greatest car in the world! I love it! I cannot understand the puzzled looks from my friends - more than 3 have said, "is that really your car?" And the greatest thing is . . . it is a little less than half way full!

I will post on our new addition Pilot this weekend -

I am so very thankful it is FRIDAY!!!!!
Blessings to everyone!

Easter 2010

It is only through the power of his blood shed on the cross that I am blessed with the fullness of who he is. It is only through the Crucifixion that we have life and have it in abundance. Praises to our Lord! To you all the glory for this beautiful day.

I still have to do a double take when I see all of our children - I am blessed beyond measure for these amazing precious jewels!

Yes, this is Grant, OUR SON, all dressed up in the family heirloom baptism gown. I know he looks to boyish to be wearing a dress - yes, he is a little older than the babies who wore it before him, but it is part of tradition and it fits! He was such a great sport while we dolled him up for his big day. This gown is one of two hand made my Skip's mother. They are french hand sewn and are made of the finest cotton and lace. The gowns have been used by 12 grand children!
(half ours!) All Twelve


For a baby gift at Olivia's shower (11 years ago), Skip's mother surprised me with a slip to go under her christening gown. Now, all six children will have their monogram and the date of their baptism embroidered on the slip - such a treasure!
SO ADORABLE!!!





Skip's father baptized Grant on Easter Sunday. He is one of the greatest blessings in our lives. I cannot wait to get to heaven to see the many people he has brought into God's kingdom. He is such a beautiful example of the heart of God and has the gift of love beyond anything I have ever seen.

4 Months Home

It has been a long time since I have posted. On days I have time to sit down at the computer, I only have time to read my favorite blogs and then it is time to get back moving again. I love reading my friend's blogs and am so thankful I am to be able to keep up with all the amazing things God is doing!!!

We have had a really exciting few months. Grant is doing so very well!!! I am amazed and in such awe of his determination. He is running, beginning to talk AND he will identify ME in a crowded room as his mama!! He now loves to hug and instead of me asking him for a kiss, he will ask me and let me tell you it melts my heart.

Speaking of his heart - it is doing very well. We will follow up with the cardiologist next year and continue to watch his ASD. The biggest obstacle we are facing now is Grant needs major dental work. Under general anesthesia they need to do 7 caps and two extractions in addition to some nerve work. Grant's abscessed teeth do cause him some pain and make eating solid food difficult. His weight gain and growth have slowed down. Because of Grant's heart condition, we will have the surgery at a Children's Hospital in Atlanta - I am so very thankful for the pediatric dentist who has decided to go the extra 100 miles for Grant. We are praying (and would love for you to join us) that God would open some rather large doors for Grant's surgery. Our medical insurance will not cover Grant's general anesthesia (privately funded insurance plan), which means we are paying for 2.5 hours of surgery out of pocket - dental will cover only two of the caps. We are asking our medical insurance to please reconsider their decision to not cover dental anesthesia or for the hospital to cut us one heck of a deal! Right now our our insurance company feels like strapping him down 5 different times is a practical solution for his dental needs. ?
It has been very interesting because open heart surgery would not have cost nearly as much. We never knew anything about privately funded insurance plans until now. Grant is covered fully by our insurance, but if you read the fine lines of a privately funded plan, some things are not covered regardless of the law. But with that said, most things are covered and we are blessed with being able to see many wonderful doctors.

The dentist who has agreed to see Grant is a special medical needs pediatric dentist. He is encouraging us to get Grant tested for DiGeorge Syndrome. DiGeorge Syndrome is a syndrome where there is a deletion of the 22nd Chromosome. Grant dose have a few of the markers of DiGeorge, but I will be very surprised it the test is postive. I am so crazy about every single cell of his DNA and if he dose have DiGeorge, it will not change one single thing about the wonderful things God has planned for his life. This is one strongly determined and smart little boy.

Wordless Wednesday

Amost A Winter Wonderland

We have been praying for snow and just last week we missed it by about 100 miles. We live just a little too far south. The most wonderful benefit of snow, besides being beautiful, is that when snow hits the ground, the schools shut down and most businesses close. For my friends buried in snow, I know you all just continue on with life, 4 layers of clothing and all. Hopefully we will have some more opportunity for snow - the cold weather has finally settled in for the next 2.5 months.

Wonderful news! Grant's heart appointment went great! He will be seen next YEAR - only to monitor the hole in his heart. He has absolutely no restrictions - PRAISES! We still have to get to the bottom of his slow growth and will continue to test for parasites. This next week we will embark on a dental visit, which I dread. This little guy is super strong and does not like anyone touching his teeth. Our daily teeth brushing is quite an ordeal and if he does not bit my finger we count it as having gone very well.

Bonding with the other sibling is coming along better than I had expected. Grant is very kind and gentle with everyone except Ameila. The two of them are WILD and they can get each other very wound up. Their laughter together is contagious and their screams are deafening.

I have to decide soon if I am going to continue playing "short order cook" for Grant. He is not taking to the Perkin's cuisine -most of the food he tires he ends up spitting out unless it is peas or some sort of noodle. I have been able to get creative by adding veggies to his Congee and Ramen Noodles - praying for wisdom in this area.

I have really had to buckle down with my time management and become more deliberate with my priorities. I am not rebellious as I have been in the past to this demand. I am very thankful the adoption process and waiting is behind us - I did not realize at the time how much our world centered around finding Grant and bringing him home. I feel like we have been moved towards a time of renewal and rest and I am really enjoying being a family of 8.

Life After The Adoption Trip

Grant and Grace

Daddy's Boy

The BOYS!

JOY!

JOY! JOY!

Grant is a delight! He is full of joy and laughter. Before we went to China I had a very vivid dream of him and he was so happy. I had prayed that despite his life in the orphanage, he would have true joy - God is so good!

Since our arrival home he has made a lot of progress. The first week I did not know if I was going to make it - I am non-functioning without sleep and the whole jet lag with a toddler who cried 80% of the day ON top of Christmas school parties was almost more that I could take. The second week was better and wow this week is even better. We are learning his limit of over stimulation and the importance of his nighttime routine. Grant's sleeping is better as long as he has a low key predictable night. I think he is either having night terrors or has reflux as some nights he is awake a lot. The tantrums and crying are much more infrequent and his sleeping has improved.

Praises we just returned from the pediatrician and this little guy's test have all come out GREAT! He does not need another vaccine until he is 4! and has no other illnesses! He will see a Cardiologist next month and I really believe he will have a great report there also.

Grant is getting along very well with his siblings - they make him laugh this deep contagious laugh. Amelia and Grant have had some rivalry which has resulting in some biting. She has learned he does not appreciate her taking his toys. The older girls are so sweet to encourage him to walk and teach him how to play with his new toys. It is always a fight for who gets to sit next to him in the car - he is very very loved! And yes, he can light saber fight!

I will say some things about this process that I pray will not come out negative. I do feel I need to be honest about my feelings. Grant is my son and I love him dearly, but this process is so much more complicated than I ever could have imagined. There have been some very low points of absolute exhaustion and stubbornness on his part that have brought me to my knees. At no point has this adoption been a place for "one of my needs" to be met and each week it becomes so clear that this adoption is not about me. It has been very hard - AND so worth it at the same time. His grief has been physically painful to watch. I know we have a long road towards bonding. Grant is very affectionate and will receive my affection, but he does not trust me and refuses to let me touch his bottle. He wants to be loved but will not allow himself to be loved at times. He prefers to cry alone and his tantrums and rage cannot be comforted. I do pray he will allow me to love him and that I will have the wisdom to patiently lead us there.

The Merriest Christmas!

This was our intended Christmas picture - The Christmas card was never printed. It was such a fun Christmas season packed with unpacking, baking, wrapping presents and just being together. I missed the children so much when I was in China. I will never let a day go by without many hugs and precious time together.

Travel

If you would like to follow our trip, we will be posting here.

It has been an exciting 5 days getting everything in place for our trip. There is nothing I could write to truly express the fullness of my heart right now. I am exceedingly thankful to be on this journey. Last night I had the sweetest dream about Grant - he was so full of joy. I am having a difficult time leaving all of our precious children, but my joy is also deep.

Skip and I will fly out of Chicago on Thanksgiving and get to China on Friday night. We will see our precious son's face IN PERSON on Monday morning at 10 AM.

We appreciate all of your prayers - Thank you!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Packing & Looking Towards Him

I am so excited how God keeps showing me how crucial each step has been. I think a lot as I wrap Christmas presents and pack and it has been so beautiful to see how each disappointment, waits that were too long and closed doors were ALL for the landscape of the journey. It is a great journey and He is so mighty to turn tears into His Glory. And although Grant is one of the largest blessings in my life - this was not about Grant or adoption. I am claiming freedom in areas that I did not know were in bondage. I say this to encourage anyone who is in the thick of any trial - HE NEVER wastes an opportunity to SHINE his GLORY! We just have to hang on.

I will say on another note, I tear up as I pack my children. I am overwhelmed with all of the details and will it be hot where we are all going or cold. It is so far and such a long trip. I am also struggling because I am over packer being forced to be conservative. Tomorrow I will leave for FL with all of the children to go to my parents house. We looking forward to being able celebrating my brothers 16th birthday with him!! The only draw back, 7 hours in the car . . . I am the only adult. We will stay until Sun or Mon and then I will come home with only three, pack some more and then Wednesday the house will be very quite. I am confident they will all be VERY well taken care of - probably too taken care of if you know what I mean. We have the most wonderful family and friends!!! and even though some I am sure think that we have lost our minds - they still love and support us. BLESSED!

You would be very glad to know that I am only taking 4 bottles - at one point (in a previous post) I had 13 packed :) AND he may not even take a bottle. That gives you a better understanding of my packing theory - "Just in case I need it." I keep downsizing Grant's stuff - limiting myself to 1/2 of a suitcase for him. I can do it . . . I can do it.

Grant will be in our arms on November 29th!!!! and we have a CA appointment for December 7th in Guangzhou. GLORY!

WE ARE GOING TO CHINA!!!!

Yesterday our agency told us we have TA (travel approval)! I am so absolutely grateful to our gracious Lord for Grant. We are still ironing out the details. I am having to slow down my desire to jump on the next plane. I am so thankful to have a husband that can think clearly and reasonably in the center of excitement. He is a rock no matter what the circumstances and oh how God knows exactly what I needed in a husband. I adore Skip and I am thrilled that adoption is a part of our story - such an incredible adventure. God is so good!

Skip and I will be traveling alone. We are wanting to leave on Thanksgiving Day and hopefully we will have a Consulate Appointment (CA) on December 8th or 9th. I have no concerns about our travel, however, the children's plans are a different story. We will leave all 5 here - two will go to my parents (out of state)- one to Skip's parents (out of town) and two will stay here with friends. I know our children will have a great time on their vacations away from home - and very well taken care of. It is just difficult to ask so much from our family and friends. Two weeks to iron out all the details, pack for 8, and get prepared to receive such a beautiful gift.

- We are praying for wisdom, discernment, guidance, and for Grant's heart.