March 1, 2007

Even though I walk throught the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.  Psalm 23:4

Storms

Yesterday at 12:00 p.m. I was reminded of a significant storm in our lives almost 1.5 years ago.  Every Saturday the bad weather warning sirens are tested across our city.  Whew, not a Saturday goes by that my heart doesn't  jump and I have to ask myself, are we in danger? or is it Saturday?  Yesterday my mind was bit challenged because I had been sick in bed for 24 hours from Friday 7:15 am until Saturday 8:00 am.  In my mind I thought it was Friday and the weather was stormy because of  tropical storm Fay.  I did have a moment of oh my gosh "let's go to the safe room" panic.

  

I do praise God for his continual healing of our hearts and minds.  I can see such a difference in the physical way our bodies react to the LOUD alarm on our NOAA weather radio which went off ALL night and the Saturday sirens!  Thank you Jesus for working on our hearts.  He casts down all fears!  He is the great healer and I am so thankful he continues to open my eyes to places he is working.

Today we went to Christ Community and heard an awesome missionary, Shane, talk about how he wanted less of himself so that there could be more God in him.  He wanted more of God's love to be able to flow thorough him for these precious orphaned children.  This man has given his life to orphaned children - all around the world.  I really believe I needed to hear just that this morning.  

My heart had been so heavy on the way to church.  I am ready to finish our adoption paperwork, I am really wanting to travel this fall to China. TODAY!  NOW!   But . . .  I have this wonderful new God given awareness that I am totality capable of opening doors or manipulating situations that can look "Godly" but in fact are all about what I want and when I want it.  This is how I create storms in my life!  I know God has given me a heart for the orphans in China.  I know he is calling us to adopt.  I believe he has a grand plan in place, however, in my flesh I want so badly to run ahead of him and finish the details.   He keeps quieting my heart and telling me to enjoy the journey and to wait on Him.  I am just so excited I can hardly wait!  It is the faith that lies in between here and there that is so difficult.  It is the faith I struggle with.  I do know to keep my eyes on him and although it will not make the yearning easier it will allow me to keep in sight the prize which is not the baby or the mission but Him.     

Shine your light and let the whole world see!

Faith

Today we heard our new youth pastor give his life story.  I am sure it was the condensed version but wow it was packed.  I was so moved by his willingness to have God lead his life.  His previous church was having financial difficulties and he knew this summer he would be out of a job (with a wife and three children to support!)  Anyway, he wanted to make it all about God so he said God I will not go out and pass my resume and look for a job.  You are going to have to open the doors because I am afraid that if I open the doors I will always wonder if the job I took was your will.  So he waited and waited  and finally God opened the door and our pastor called him and asked him if he wanted a job.  They all continued to pray and God kept confirming that he was where God wanted him. 

How awesome life here at the Perkins' home would be if I had the patience and faith to wait on God for all answers big and small!

It was truly encouraging to hear how God has worked in his life.  We are so blessed to have him leading our youth - Thank you God for such a big blessing!

Happy 5th Birthday Sweet Grace

What a precious girl.  Grace celebrated her 5th birthday with a princess tea party!  She was surrounded by 10 princesses that had the energy of 100!  We had a great time and I think turning 5 was everything Grace had hoped for.  She is thrilled to be a big girl now.

In my eyes she will always be my baby.

Happy Birthday Princess!  I love you Mama

Eleven Years Of Huge Blessings

It doesn't take much to wish we could all be back at the beach, where the biggest worry was what time we were going to take 5 children out to dinner or if everyone had been re-"scum screened" (Quinn's version of sunscreen says). 

Yesterday Skip and I realized our anniversary is tomorrow!  This week has been full of big school decisions!  We finally got one of our children's educational profiles back, sensing there was some sort of a reading issue topped off with a little distraction.  Well, we were right and the news was very difficult to take.  We do have a child with mild dyslexia and mild ADD.  She is brilliant, funny, fun, capable, courageous, strong  . . .  the list could go on and on.  My heart is breaking not for her but for the crazy idea I have deep in my heart.  I believe that everything in my children's lives needs to be perfect and I will make it that way if it isn't.  WHERE DID THIS WHOLE PERFECTIONISM THING COME FROM?  I do know who these children belong to!

This girl is one of the bravest people I have ever known.  What she has recovered from in the last year has been such a hurdle - God is amazing.  She was the most visibly effected by the terrible storm that took most of her tiny treasures and for 10 seconds what she thought would be her life.

I am tired thinking about what this year holds for her as far as continuing to run the race that has been set before her.  God led me to the sweetest passage in Psalm 118 -"The stone the builders rejected; I will make the capstone."  She is a beautiful capstone and oh I cannot wait to see God's great plan for her life.  She knows him at a level I struggle to get to.  She knows he will show up mightily.  When she calls on him it is with great expectation and unlike her mother she has the patience to wait upon his awesome answers no matter how long it takes.  It doesn't matter if the outcome doesn't come out how she expects because she doesn't put her own agenda on asking God to answer prayer.  I love being her mother because she continually shows me the faith of a child.  Now, if I can only go back to that precious place.  Perhaps that is why I have 5 children - I have 5 reminders of how my relationship with God should be.

Today we had the awesome opportunity to lunch with Chloe. Chloe is another tremendously brave girl who at five is fighting for her life against cancer.  She is beautiful, happy, carefree and enjoyed every minute of her time at the Castle playground.  She has been a celebrity at our house for a while now - I think the girls were star struck because they would not stop starring at her.  Once the games on the playground began, they realized she was one of them and they were the same and could be friends.  Isn't it so easy to put someone on a pedestal, but I forget, we really are all the same.  Some of us just do a better job of putting on the front that we have it all together.  I wear that mask a lot and then I am reminded of the time my underwear were strung all over the neighborhood and my friends were gathering and washing them only to return them  because I was such a mess I could hardly function.  I really do hate that mask and I am so grateful God has slowly allowed me to accept who he made me to be - there is a lot of freedom in knowing he is delighted in every aspect of me - he knit me to look and act this way.  So all the extra stuff I put on myself is just stuff without a purpose.  

I am so grateful to have a husband to celebrate 11 wonderful years with who I believe sees me through the eyes of Jesus.  What a tremendous blessing and honor it is to receive such unconditional love.  Skip, you are and will continue to be the most wonderful gift a bride could every imagine!  I love you forever!

The Fern and The Bamboo

A sweet friend sent this to me today.

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS I HAVE READ IN A LONG TIME.

GOD HAS GIVEN EACH OF US A JOB TO DO . IT MAY BE BIG(TALL) LIKE THE BAMBOO OR SMALL(SHORT ) LIKE THE FERN, BUT EVERY ONE IS IMPORTANT TO
HIM AND TO SOMEONE HERE ON EARTH, AND WE MUST EXERCISE PATIENCE.
 
 
The Fern and the Bamboo...
 One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my
spirituality… I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have
one last talk with God.
 "God," I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
 His answer surprised me...
 "Look around," He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
 "Yes," I replied.
 "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care
of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew
from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing
came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
       In the second year, the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And
again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the
bamboo."
      He said, "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo
seed. But I would not quit.
      In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
      Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant.
      But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had
spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and
gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my
creations a challenge it could not handle."
      He said to me, "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have
been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not
quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself
to  others. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet,
they both make the forest beautiful."    

 "Your time will come," God said to me.
"you will rise high!"
 "How high should I rise?" I asked.
 "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
 "As high as it can?" I questioned.
 "Yes," he said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
 I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can
help you see that God will never give up on you
 Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you Happiness.
Bad days give you Experiences.
Both are essential to life.
Keep going...
Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!
 Have a great day! The Son is shining!
 God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small
He can curl up inside your heart.
  

We have NEWS!

Okay, I know the 6th frame is a dead give away.  We have officially started the adoption process! We are so thrilled to have another little Perkins running around this house.  The mountain to climb is huge!  The paperwork is a lot.  We are confident that God will lead us through it all.  I am just praying for patience, grace and the ability to multi-task.  Our new addition from China will be special needs which would be a heart condition, cleft lip or pallet or both, club feet, missing a limb.  We anticipate being through the paperwork process by November/December at which time we are counting on God to direct us to our new little one through a list of special needs children that comes out a few times a year.  About 5 months after we are matched, we will travel to China for two weeks to complete the adoption process.

The children are  thrilled beyond belief!  I am so thankful that they get to be a part of such a huge blessing!  My brother's adoption in 1994 marked my heart for life!  That adoption was the answer to a prayer I prayed as a little girl over and over and the blessing just keeps on giving:)

Some of you ask why? Adoption has always been very special to me. For one reason I mentioned above, my brother.  Also, when I was young our neighbors across the street adopted two Korean babies.    Their mother taught me how to care for their little girl and I would go over to their house and play with that baby until finally she had to go down for a nap.  Somedays I would get to rock her to sleep.  While I was rocking her I would wonder about where she came from and how she ended up in Utah.  She was so sick when she came from Korea and I could understand her life had been difficult.  Little did I know there was a Huge God out there setting things in place.  I believe there were many reasons we lived across the street from this family - the biggest is probably in China right now.  

Happy Father's Day!

I speak for all my five children - We have an AWESOME DAD!  What a role.  I sometime forget what a responsibility it is to be a Dad.  It is a 24/7 job.  I was so excited today when I picked the girls up from camp and Annabel was so sad her Daddy wasn't there. Skip has been traveling.  I rejoice not because she was sad, but because he has such an important role in her life and he is usually there for everything big -  like coming home from her first camp adventure.  Do not feel sad that you weren't there Skip - be happy that she missed you.  Happy Father's Day!

Happy Birthday Annabel!

Annabel had a great birthday party!  We are so blessed with such a wonderful group of friends.  

Dante's Down the Hatch

This is a restaurant Skip and I went to when we dated.  There are real alligators swiming underneath these bridges INSIDE the restaurant.  The girls loved it.  They had fondu for the first time.  During dinner Annabel had some sweet birthday wishes via cell phone.  What a great weekend together!

Happy 8th Birthday Annabel!

  What an awesome trip.  We headed to the Big City with the 3 older girls and had a great time at the Georgia Aquarium.  Millions of Fish!  It was right up Annabel's alley.  We even spent the night in a great hotel and got to go to a restaurant floating above ALLIGATORS!  Wow it's great to be 8!

We love to bake cakes and even more we LOVE A CELEBRATON!  Olivia and Annabel had an awesome year this year!  Annabel graduated from 2nd grade and Olivia graduated from 3rd grade.  The girls are especially awesome because despite the big changes in their lives, they continued to make GREAT GRADES!  We are so proud of them!

What a blessing and adventure it is to have such a large family.  I cannot believe I survived being an only child.  Life was so boring compared to all the chaos around here.  Our latest addition is BEAR a 4 month old black cocka-poo.   He was Skip's surprise birthday present, his birthday is in December.  (Had to justify adding on to the family with out discussing it first.)  I really think I threw our daughter Bel for a loop - she is a huge dog lover!  Bel has a birthday fundraiser every year for PAWS, our local dog shelter.  She has been praying every night for a long time for another dog.   The thrill in her heart when I said, "please get that dog ready to go home with us," was such a huge moment in her life.  We already own Bailey another cocka-poo.  

Anyway, we marched into a pet store and rescued this precious and clumsy dog.  TO suprise Skip we ran into the house and asked him to get the groceries - Bear was just sitting there next to his accident in the seat!  Skip was SHOCKED and so thrilled -  Bel is sure that dreams really come true and God listens to prayer.  He must because I cannot believe I bought a dog.  It was quite low on my priority list.