Eleven Years Of Huge Blessings

It doesn't take much to wish we could all be back at the beach, where the biggest worry was what time we were going to take 5 children out to dinner or if everyone had been re-"scum screened" (Quinn's version of sunscreen says). 

Yesterday Skip and I realized our anniversary is tomorrow!  This week has been full of big school decisions!  We finally got one of our children's educational profiles back, sensing there was some sort of a reading issue topped off with a little distraction.  Well, we were right and the news was very difficult to take.  We do have a child with mild dyslexia and mild ADD.  She is brilliant, funny, fun, capable, courageous, strong  . . .  the list could go on and on.  My heart is breaking not for her but for the crazy idea I have deep in my heart.  I believe that everything in my children's lives needs to be perfect and I will make it that way if it isn't.  WHERE DID THIS WHOLE PERFECTIONISM THING COME FROM?  I do know who these children belong to!

This girl is one of the bravest people I have ever known.  What she has recovered from in the last year has been such a hurdle - God is amazing.  She was the most visibly effected by the terrible storm that took most of her tiny treasures and for 10 seconds what she thought would be her life.

I am tired thinking about what this year holds for her as far as continuing to run the race that has been set before her.  God led me to the sweetest passage in Psalm 118 -"The stone the builders rejected; I will make the capstone."  She is a beautiful capstone and oh I cannot wait to see God's great plan for her life.  She knows him at a level I struggle to get to.  She knows he will show up mightily.  When she calls on him it is with great expectation and unlike her mother she has the patience to wait upon his awesome answers no matter how long it takes.  It doesn't matter if the outcome doesn't come out how she expects because she doesn't put her own agenda on asking God to answer prayer.  I love being her mother because she continually shows me the faith of a child.  Now, if I can only go back to that precious place.  Perhaps that is why I have 5 children - I have 5 reminders of how my relationship with God should be.

Today we had the awesome opportunity to lunch with Chloe. Chloe is another tremendously brave girl who at five is fighting for her life against cancer.  She is beautiful, happy, carefree and enjoyed every minute of her time at the Castle playground.  She has been a celebrity at our house for a while now - I think the girls were star struck because they would not stop starring at her.  Once the games on the playground began, they realized she was one of them and they were the same and could be friends.  Isn't it so easy to put someone on a pedestal, but I forget, we really are all the same.  Some of us just do a better job of putting on the front that we have it all together.  I wear that mask a lot and then I am reminded of the time my underwear were strung all over the neighborhood and my friends were gathering and washing them only to return them  because I was such a mess I could hardly function.  I really do hate that mask and I am so grateful God has slowly allowed me to accept who he made me to be - there is a lot of freedom in knowing he is delighted in every aspect of me - he knit me to look and act this way.  So all the extra stuff I put on myself is just stuff without a purpose.  

I am so grateful to have a husband to celebrate 11 wonderful years with who I believe sees me through the eyes of Jesus.  What a tremendous blessing and honor it is to receive such unconditional love.  Skip, you are and will continue to be the most wonderful gift a bride could every imagine!  I love you forever!