Pink or Blue?

This is day I delivered Amelia, standing in her BLUE nursery.

Anticipating the arrival of our next child is very exciting. I am one of those people who love surprises and everything leading up to them. We found out the gender of our child the first four times - everything HAD to be just perfect. That was when I was in my prime as a perfectionist. The fifth time I was okay to just let it go, it was a complete surprise. Please do not be mistaken, I did have a boy and girl wardrobe all ready to go just in case. I am not sure if anyone believed we did not know what we were having - the nursery could have been that indication. I tried so hard to do a neutral nursery, but I think deep down inside I thought it was a boy. I had many ultrasounds so if tempted, I could have found out. Although I thought it was a boy, I did not have a preference. I cried tears of joy when they said, "It's a girl!"

Amelia Ashley only minutes old

The truth about me is deep down inside there is a part of me that is quite intimidated by mothering a boy. I grew up an only child somewhat a tomboy, but I have never seen a son mothered. I understand girls and although mine are all so different, on most days I get where they are coming from. The older girls are a lot of emotional work and there are many days I am also emotionally challenged - those are difficult days to say the least. The girls tend to need a lot more praise and validation - am I pretty? did I do a good job? am I special? how am I special? Where as my son is so okay with who he is. His ability to receive love is not based on any condition. He is secure. Quinn needs affection, one on one time and a sword fight here an there, but other than than, he is very content - unless it is nap time.

The reality is I enjoy the challenge and the reflection of myself with the girls and the easy and adventure of my son. God's creation is beautiful!

Boy or girl, I just cannot wait!! I pray for patience.