Grace
As I made the appointment, I thought it was probably bad that it had been 4.5 years since Grace had been to the eye doctor. We probably should not have waited that long.
It was in October of 2003, Grace was 2 months old, and I took her in for her well check-up. I had decided to piggy back the appointment and bring Annabel (3) because I suspected an ear infection. That day I could only think about Annabel's ears and how disappointed I would be if we had another ear infection. As the doctor examined Grace, he asked, "does she smile at you?, does she wince at the light?, is she making any eye contact?" - My answer was, "no" to every question.
Grace was the perfect baby. She did not spit up, she was the best sleeper, she rarely cried, wonderful eater - she was the perfect baby!
He pulled out his flashlight and did a series of test and said, "she has no visual perception and she has no light perception." I responded, "okay, could you please check Annabel's ears, I think she has an ear infection."
The next thing I remembered was talking to Skip on the phone saying emotionless, "well, Grace cannot see, but Annabel doesn't have an ear infection." He kept asking me to repeat what I had said. It took some time for the reality of the news to sink in. It took one of my dearest friends saying, "Ashley, this is a problem." After that I crumbled! That night a group of women showed up at our house to pray for Grace. They prayed bold prayers for healing. I could not even get the words out of my mouth. I was so terrified and I kept saying, "Oh, please let it be me God." I would cry and cry because I wanted so badly to ask him to heal her, but I did not think I had the faith that it took to ask something that big. I felt like my measure of faith would be the determining factor.
We took Grace to an eye doctor, who after looking at her optic nerve said, "it is too small and the optic nerve is not something that grows and develops. She is blind." We had an army of believers who stood in the gap for us and prayed for her sweet eyes - I am so thankful for their love for God and us! We made arrangements to see a pediatric ophthalmologist 3 weeks later in another city.
Anyway, during this wait, one day at church we went to the little private altar where prayer warriors prayed for people during communion. That day, a wonderful man named, Mr. King prayed the sweetest prayer for Grace, and when Skip and I walked away, we knew then that it was going to be okay, but we weren't quite sure what okay looked like.
Reading Carrie's post Too Afraid to Whisper has reminded me of this wonderful place in our story.
I will write part II tomorrow.
